Come on, admit it. We’ve all had a blonde moment or two in our lives.
I don’t know where the expression originates, it’s ridiculous really because of course your hair colour is not going to have a bearing on your intelligence. And some of the smartest cookies I know are blonde. Take Charlotte, pictured in the header above. How many people can claim to have had a book published by Ebury?
But I, for one, am guilty of having regular dizzy moments. One of Rich’s favourite things to do when we are at a dinner party, particularly the ones where I don’t know the other guests very well, is to recount some of these. (I say dinner parties but I can’t actually remember the last time we went to one of those, such is parenthood). His all time favourite story involves one snowy winter’s morning a few years ago…
It was your average weekday morning, other than the fact that it had snowed. I thought I would be helpful and speed up the usual manic scramble to get ready for work by de-icing the car which was parked on our street. At the time, we were driving a VW Golf (this is relevant, bear with me). It took me a good 10-15 minutes and I thought I had done an excellent job. So imagine Rich’s delight when, upon stepping out the front door, he realised that I had not cleared our car of snow, but our neighbour’s Ford Fiesta. In my defence, both were the same colour. He’s never let me live it down.
Similarly, he often reminds me of the first time that I saw an advert for memory pillows and commented that I needed one, because my memory is so poor. Yep, I genuinely believed that sleeping on one would cure my forgetfulness.
Thankfully it seems it’s not just me that suffers from temporary dizziness. The other Rock My ladies have also had their fair share of blonde moments:
Lolly
The blondest thing I’ve done lately is to ring Fired Earth to chase up why I hadn’t received my colour consultation prize that I won earlier in 2016 and then only realise when a member of the Farrow & Ball team rang me up that I’d rung up the wrong company! Oh the shame!!! Plus the woman at Fired Earth had been so patient and kind and professional whilst the whole time she must have been thinking I was a total numpty. She took my number and must have spoken soon after to Farrow and Ball to tell them: utmost professionalism! I still blush when I think of it now!
Fern
It took me until I was in my early twenties to realise that olive oil was made from olives. Can’t even blame that one on baby brain.
Recently I also suggested to Matt that he could play football in his cricket shin pads, which I didn’t think was particularly blonde, but he thought was hilarious.
Lauren
I always get flustered when I’m boarding a plane with hand luggage. Will they realise I have the contents of my life stuffed into a WH Smith’s bag that I’m passing off as an airport purchase? At the cabin door my blondest moment came when the easyJet air steward told me I could check in my luggage for free. I was so confused I wasn’t being asked to pay I got myself in a flap and resorted to my usual boarding behaviour of ramming my plastic bag into my suitcase with lipsticks, mobile phones and magazines scattering the floor. When she told me I’d need that for my flight I apologised for having a blonde moment. ‘What’s wrong with being blonde?’ She asked. As I looked up I saw her peroxide locks and realised she was a damn sight cleverer than I.
Lorna
Being a soccer mum to two football mad boys I have never been able to live it down when I casually asked Rob during a football match if they were substituting the goal keeper after seeing an official holding up the electronic board with a 1 on it. He was of course informing players and fans there was one minute of extra time. In my defence I wasn’t aware it was nearly full time, but I should have known better apparently!
Lottie from Rock My Family informs me that she has possibly had more blonde moments than she can remember. To the extent that she was voted Dumb Blonde of the Millennium, complete with gold sprayed Barbie prize, at her end-of-school awards. Which I think is a bit unkind.
And I know that you readers are a clever bunch. But I would love to hear about any scatterbrained moments that you may have had in the comments box below…
Honestly, I’m so useless that I couldn’t even remember any specific moments for your post! I just asked Edd if he could think of one major one (he’s known me 17 years!!) and he said there were just too many and normally started with ‘I might be being thick but….’. That’s the silly thing really as ask me to sit an exam and it’s no problem but common sense and general knowledge are not my forte! Just a general air of ditzyness which has luckily got a bit better with age. And yes, I really did get the gold sprayed barbie award. xxx
Some of the cleverest ladies I know are exactly the same Lottie! X
Gosh Lottie between your cousins nickname for you and this award I want to a) hug you and b) get in a time machine and dole out some telling off to these people who were so unkind!
I regularly feel this at the moment with all the builders on site- my husband works in construction too so I say something or have an idea and he just looks at me….
But then, I wasn’t the one who went to rugby training leaving my boots in the porch this week… it’s definitely not a girl thing!!
Definitely not a girl thing. The other day Rich was commenting on how big Lyra is and said ‘imagine having her inside your foetal’. I think he meant uterus! ?
Ha ha. Thanks Lucy! In fairness I was actually in charge of making the awards (my creative side coming out) so the funny thing is I made my own dumb blonde award!! I don’t mind really as I was honestly a complete ditz at school. Very clever (without being big headed) but completely ditzy! All these things only make me stronger 🙂 xxx
Hi. Where is the book (or notebook, I can’t tell) from in the header picture? I’d love to get one for a friend.
Thanks
Hi Victoria, I can only seem to find it here:
http://www.nuuna.com/products/nuuna-studio-m-write-books-not-blogs-ii-nuuna-studio-m-write-books-not-blogs#-lang-de-
Thanks
One of my friends, when at school, managed to buy a fake ID that made her a whole year younger than she actually was (rather than a year older…)! I don’t have so many blonde moments personally but I’m a dab hand at an unexpected spoonerism (changing the letters/sounds around in two words – e.g. par cark)… I once asked to buy 3 tickets to see the “Black Eyed Keys” which I have never been allowed to forget!
Brilliant. Did it get her in anywhere?!
Spoonerism, love that there’s a name for it!
I once rang up la redoute to order a catalogue. All was going well until they asked for my health number. Flummoxed I said I didn’t know it. The operator was equally confused “how can you not know it?” I ended the phone call and it only dawned on me an hour later that it was my HOUSE number she needed! Never did get the catalogue!
Actually chuckling at this Kathryn!
Kathryn I’m howling at this…I’m actually a bit deaf in both ears so this kind of scenario happens to me on a weekly basis; I still haven’t actually realised that the common denominator is me!
So funny some of these!
I think my best moment was about 2 years ago. In the middle of the night, I woke up suddenly because I’d remembered that I hadn’t locked the car door. I went downstairs only to discover the key wasn’t where it should be. Odd I thought but undeterred I took the spare key and went outside and locked the car. Went back to bed and off to sleep happy in the knowledge that the car was now safely locked up. In the morning when I went outside I discovered I’d left the original car keys sticking out of the boot lock, which was in full view of the road! Thank goodness we live in a safe area……..
Yikes! I’ve done exactly the same before but with house keys in my front door. Not a good move! x
Hehe, giggling out loud at the ‘health number’ comment – amazing!
When I was a fresh-faced youngster out of university, I was going for my first ever job interview in big scary London and had bought a new blue shirt for the occasion. I stayed with my sister in her flat in Kennington the night before, and off I went in the morning, nervous as anything.
In the lift down to the tube at Kennington another lady got in and had the same blue shirt on as me.. in my flustered, nervy state I turned to the stranger and said “Ooh do you have an interview as well?”.
DOH! Realised what an absolute fool I just sounded like, so tried to recover and what came out my mouth next? “Or do you just live in London?”
Oh the shame, the poor woman looked at me like I had 3 heads and didn’t say a word. Mortifying.
Lol Christa. This sounds like a scene from The Devil Wears Prada/Bridget Jones! Bless you!
I love reading these, I have so many blonde moments, but I think my most embarrassing was when I was shown a handy spaghetti measurer…you know the kind with circles where you put your spaghetti through and its the right thickness for one, two, three people etc. Never having seen one of these before and in a room full of people I exclaimed…”I just don’t get it, I would never be able to fit enough pasta on this for two people!” not realising it was for long spaghetti and not my usual pasta bows/twists!!
Brilliant. Oh the shame! x
These are so funny. I have many of these, when we got married my dad had a field day listing them in his speech. One of my (least) finest was when I telling dad some band were playing in our home town and I really wanted to go. The support act were called TBC who I hadn’t heard of…
This did make me laugh Anna. And I would love to go to a wedding where the father of the bride recounts his daughter’s blonde moments! x
On Tuesday (this week) I poured the milk I’d heated up for my coffee into the sugar bowl instead of my mug. I’d like to blame this on baby brain but I do these sorts of things ALL THE TIME! My pals also love reminding me of the time I got into the passenger seat of my own car by mistake, in front of a queue of folk at a bus stop. By the time I realised what had happened I’d closed the door and had to sit for a good five minutes rustling in the glove compartment before getting out and getting in the driver side. I like to think of these moments as character building! x
Me too Rebecca! Constantly doing things like putting my phone in the fridge.
Loving the image of you having a good rustle in the glove compartment…wonder if anyone in the queue for the bus stop clocked you 🙂
My family love reminding me of all my blonde moments – the highlight that comes up often is that in a 6th form Geography class I confidently told my teacher that Mexico was the capital of Brazil. My brother and sister (who both have Geography degrees) were delighted and it’s always bought up when I’m trying to make a serious point. Another highlight was when in a car with my family, we drove past a local farm shop. I then pointed out that “See, Strawberries do grow on trees!” – they were just on raised picking tables! I also managed to get voted by my friends at the end of 6th form for an award for the “Brunette who should be blonde”. I’d like to say I don’t have as many blonde moments, but I’m not sure thats true.
Ahh the geography blonde moments are the best! Both my sister and Rich’s sister have had some classics. Rich’s sister, for example, is never sure how to pronounce Poland (she always asks if it’s pronounced ‘Polland’ like Holland). I can see her logic I suppose! x
Literally yesterday after dropping my daughter off at nursery, on walking back to my car, walked straight past mine and to the car parked a bit further up the car park. To be fair to me it was exactly like my car but the fact the driver of said car was busy getting his child out of the back should have made me realise that in fact it was not my car. I had to do a weird shuffle thing back to mine. I definitely got a funny look from the owner of the other car.
Giggling at this Lucy, I’m sure I’ve done something similar recently. I’m glad I’m not the only one that has car issues x
For someone who is very smart, my big sister has had so many comically ditzy moments, you’d think I was making it up!
One classic came after enquiring how long it would take to drive from Glasgow to Manchester.
Me: About 3.5hrs
Sis: So I should allow about 4.5hrs on the way back because it’s uphill?
What?! ?
Another classic came after she’d attended a fancy dress party.
Me: Who won’t the prize for best costume?
Sis: A guy dressed as Barrack Obama.
Me: The American president? That’s not a very good costume.
Sis: No the guy with the gold chains from the A-Team.
She meant B.A. Baracus ???
Just brilliant. Your sister sounds hilarious. “Because it’s uphill?”?! x
Lisa you are so funny – memory pillows should improve memories!!!!
I once got back to my car after taking Jovan to a Little Ninjas class (1 hour long) to find I had left the driver side door wide open that whole time…even though I am OCD about making sure I have locked the doors. The shame as I got closer to the car, and started to speed walk in the fear that the other mums would see what I had done is bringing on a nervous sweat even now 🙁
It would make sense for memory pillows to help your memory though wouldn’t you agree?! Ha ha.
Can’t believe you left your car door open for one hour! I’ve left our car boot wide open outside the house but never for that long! Love the fact that you were more bothered about what the other mums would think than the fact that your car could have been stolen, you nana x