Either my standards would be considered incredibly high, or the majority of hotel rooms (expensive/instagrammable/Luxury etc etc included) leave a lot to be desired.

If I am going to spend a small fortune on sleeping in another bed (I really like mine) then there should be at the very least what I consider, basic comforts and amenities.

There is a selfish reason behind this feature (along with the fact I’m nosey) and that is that James’s company are considering building hotels. As you do. Long story so I’ll make it short – there is definitely a market for a chic reasonably priced hotel/motel chain that is a pleasure to stay in. Along the lines of Mollies Motels but in multiple locations. I have never stayed at Mollie’s by the way, so I would be interested to hear from anyone that has.

I expect my room to be clean CLEAN. I expect the shower to be powerful enough to wash my hair properly. I expect the bed to be comfortable with a couple of pillows – so I have a choice of one or two depending on how I feel at the time. I want a decently lit mirror in the bathroom so I can take my make-up off without risking jabbing myself in the eye. I also expect a full length mirror – more often than not I stay in a hotel as I have an event, why would I want to only see my top half?

Also plug sockets. I need a socket near enough to the aforementioned full length mirror so I can see what I’m doing with my hairdryer/curling wand etc. I am not going to pack an extension lead along with my toothbrush. In terms of space I appreciate in order to maximise the quantity of rooms and thus profit margin, especially in prime city locations, rooms can be compact. And that’s ok. Providing there is a sense of space. Clever useful storage along with considered lighting and decor can all contribute to the perception that the square footage is considerably more than it actually is.

On the subject of lighting, what is it with hotel rooms and downlighters? “Please do pay us lots of money so we can make your manageable dark shadows look like black circles of doom and highlight every pore and blemish on your epidermis…..just before you are about to get ready for a special event where we will only allow you to see 50% of your outfit”

I once stayed in a hotel where they had what was essentially a pull out laptop table with stool – it took up hardly any space, but was perfectly functional. Most hotel rooms have a full on desk and chair, are they really necessary?

I want a full length wardrobe though – because maxi dresses/and or jumpsuits. I also want decent coffee and tea making facilities. Hidden away mind. Don’t dump my cups and saucers on a plastic tray on the massive desk that I am never going to use.

Towels. BIG SOFT TOWELS.

And then there are the nice-to-haves. I appreciate a posh mini shampoo as much as the next person. But I also like the more practical items such as cotton wool pads: all those things that it’s so easy to forget to pack.

I could go on, but risk boring everyone to death whilst simultaneously sounding more than a bit wanky.

I expect at the very least to get what I pay for. Genuinely I have had a better experience in a Premier Inn than I have on some so-called “boutique” hotels. A classic was a place in Mayfair in December, all fur coat and no knickers – and over £400 a night for the privilege.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences (the good, the bad and the ugly) in the comments box below. What do you look for in a hotel room?