Three years ago today I was on a yoga retreat in Byron Bay. While the circumstances that had led me there weren’t exactly happy, taking myself off to Australia for seven days of yoga followed by a week hanging out with friends in Sydney was my way of taking control of my life and ending a not-so-great year on a positive note.
Sitting in the yoga studio on January 1st, having woken before dawn to do a yoga class on the beach as the sun rose on the new year, while dolphins played in the sea in front of us, we were given the task of writing a letter to ourselves. In the letter we were to include how we felt about 2011, what we wanted to create in 2012, what we felt grateful for and, finally, what we loved about ourselves.
There was a pile of variously coloured sheets of A4 paper to choose from. Despite not being a particularly girly girl I picked out two pieces of pink paper, one a soft baby pink shade, the other a vibrant hot pink and an envelope in a third shade of pink, somewhere between the other two. Something about the warmth of the colour and the pleasing effect of the different shades together appealed, I think. I started writing my letter in the early evening after the final yoga class of the day and finished it off later, after dinner. Once finished, we sealed our letters in envelopes with our home addresses on the front and gave them to course leader Jessie, who promised to mail them to us at some point during the year ahead.
I don’t really remember the day I received the letter in the post but reading it back today I’m struck by how optimistic I was clearly feeling when I wrote the letter, even as I reflected on what had felt like a tough year. Seven days of yoga, mediation, sun, hearty veggie food and starting the year without the usual hangover will do that to you I guess. Knowing as I do now what came next I want to teleport myself back in time and hug that past me when I read how I closed the letter to my future self: “I’m really hoping for good things for us in 2012, but know that we have the strength to cope with whatever happens. Looking forward to finding out how it all works out. Miranda xxx”
The challenges started immediately. My first day back at work after the trip I was told the magazine I edited was being sold to another company, which led to various, mostly negative, changes to my work life and my life, life. Before the end of February my mum had died. While outwardly it seemed like I was coping, soon after I started suffering panic attacks and, as the year drew to a close, I developed what turned out to be pneumonia, spending 31st December lying on my sofa, barely able to move and shortly after was hopitalised for nearly two weeks. Not exactly the year I had hoped for. But that happy, hopeful me of three years ago was right. I was strong enough to cope with it all.
A couple of weeks after I left hospital I flew to Costa Rica and, around halfway through my trip, there was a moment as I walked along a beach as the sun rose (I know sunsets are more popular, but I’m something of a sunrise junkie myself) when I suddenly realised that I felt happy, peaceful, optimistic and grateful once more, for where I was and for everything that had led me there (really).
While I haven’t repeated the exercise of writing a year end/year ahead letter to myself since Byron Bay I’m going to take a little time out and do it this year. The end of the year, or the very beginning of the next one is the perfect time to reflect on the previous twelve months (without dwelling on the past and getting lost in a vortex of coulda, woulda, shouldas of course), to give yourself a high five because, you know what, you survived, and to dream a little bit about the future. I’m also going to include some of the things I achieved this year, my favourite memories and a to do list for the year ahead. I haven’t decided whether to give it to someone I trust to mail it to me at some point in the future, or whether to put it away and perhaps open it mid-way through the year, which is as good a point as any to check in with where I am. What do you think?
What rituals do you have for marking the end of the old year and the beginning of the new one? Do share below!
This post has really made me think and I’m definitely going to write a couple of letters. I’ve decided not to set resolutions but set goals of what I want to achieve for 2015.
Thanks for sharing Miranda – wishing you a Happy New Year and all the best for 2015! x
Goals seems so much more positive than resolutions, I think. Happy New Year to you too Rach, wishing you a wonderful 2015! x
Hi Miranda,
Firstly, may 2015 bring you a happiness, fun and new memories but also that same ability to cope with obstacles along the way. Ive been looking for new ways to set goals, relfect on the hard days and capture those really fun moments. Its been around for a while but i recently found out about Daily greatness journals (there is one to set yourself a 12 week exercise programme, one for yoga fanatics, and one to document your year). I’ve bought the journal for the year, which has no dates in it – so i wont feel guilty if a miss a day/week or two. Im hoping it will be a reminder in years to come of what 2015 offered me.
Once again Happy New Year to you and to all who read RMS xx
Happy New Year to you too Clare! I just had a look at the Daily Greatness Journal website, the journals look fab, very inspiring and motivating. If I didn’t already have the Lorna Jane Move, Nourish, Believe journal for the year, I would totally buy one. Maybe next year! Wishing you a wonderful 2015! xx
Hi Miranda,
Every year I purchase myself a shiny new journal and start writing about similar things to what you have included in your post. I find writing so therapeutic yet I seem unable to keep at it much passed January, I’m not sure if it’s because I get ‘too busy’ or if I feel I’m not really saying an awful lot. My Husband and I decided yesterday that we are going to try and do a similar thing together. On New Year’s Day, we are going to sit down and write some lists about what we want this year to bring for us, including date nights, DIY house stuff, enjoying our holiday plans and any other positive things we can think of! However, after reading this post, I am also going to copy your idea of writing a letter to myself, it sounds like a great way to keep momentum up throughout the year and just to sit and appreciate what I have achieved so far!
Thanks!
Such a good idea to plan things with your husband Vanessa, so you can motivate each other and have lots of things to look forward to together!
I loved reading this, thanks for sharing it with us all. At the end of every year, I have taken to making a list of things I want to achieve in the year ahead. I did this last year in a bright yellow Smythson notebook I have which says “Make it happen” on the front. I carry it with me everywhere using it as a notebook but I like knowing that tucked away at the back are my list of goals and ambitions for the year ahead. At the end of this year, I look forward to reflecting on all that I have achieved this year and making new plans for 2015!
Happy new year to you too! x
Love everything about this Mrs N, writing a list of your goals and ambitions, the inspiring Make It Happen message on your notebook and that you carry it everywhere with you, so your goals and ambitions are always to hand. Happy New Year! x
I love the idea of writing a letter. I think it’s easy to get caught up in writing unrealistic goals instead of thinking about what you want and celebrating what you’ve achieved including if you’ve got through tough times and come out still standing.
I’m a bit stunned to realise how far I’ve come this year and actually RMS helped give me a push. When I commented here: http://rockmystyle.co.uk/sundari-kumar-wedding-stylist/ I was about to take the plunge and that post helped me give myself permission to go for what I wanted. Back then I knew the what, but hadn’t figured out the how.
Since writing that comment I have gone back to university part-time to train as a counsellor and am also now a trained volunteer support worker for a children’s charity which is giving me amazing experience. So thanks to RMS for giving me a push when I needed it!
I can’t believe how different it is studying as a mature student, or how rewarding it is volunteering. If you want a guest post about any of this do let me know 🙂
It’s so lovely to hear that we played in a teeny part in your new direction, and that it’s all working out well Annie!
This is a great post!
I have tried a few journal or other such things in years gone past, but as a person who I now recognise is constantly hanging on the very fine line between happiness and sadness, I find they make me wistful and melancholy, rather than hopeful. One year is too big a chunk for me to handle at once, and I have realised at the age of 35 that I do better without too many plans. Yes, I feel guilty that I am not achieving more and getting things done, but I also now believe that I don’t need too many plans to have a lovely, happy and fulfilling life. 2014 has been one hell of a year for myself and immediate family, from wicked lows to ecstatic highs, almost none of it planned, and it’s been exhausting. 2015 for me will a year of rest, nesting and spending time with those who are most important to me. Beyond that, and hoping those I love stay healthy and well, for the first time ever really, I have no plans, ambitions or hopes! It feels weird but very freeing. I’ll see how next year goes and if I change my mind!
Wishing you all a wonderful 2015 xx
A year of resting, nesting and spending time with your loved ones sounds perfect Faye! Wishing you a wonderful 2015 too xx
I’ve loved reading the responses to this post today and they have all resonated with me in different ways.
I hope all our 2015’s are filled to the brim with love, laughter and happiness and new experiences. Have a good one folks x
I have two end of year rituals.
1. Write a list of all the holidays, trips, events and exhibitions I’ve been to over the year. Sometimes it feels like the year has raced by and this helps me to look back and remind myself how much good things I’ve squeezed in during the year.
2. Organise what my sister and I refer to as “culture weekends”. My sister and I plan one weekend a month around visiting exhibitions in London and try to buy tickets for most of these by the end of the year so everything is lined up. Lots to look forward to next year, including seeing Bendedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet in September! It means even in the darkest days of winter there is lots to look forward too.
Happy new year everyone!
What a fantastic idea to write down all of the good things you did over the year Caroline! I rely on Instagram to remind me of what I’ve done over the year, but I like the idea of writing it down. And you’re so right, having lots to look forward to over the year ahead makes even the gloomiest of winter days that bit easier to get through! Happy New Year to you too!
Thanks for this post Miranda, I love the honesty and positivity. Over the last few weeks I have felt very happy and content and the things that have been making me feel like this have been things I have lost motivation for over the year such as making time to cook a nice dinner from scratch, going to the gym and taking walks. Today I went for a snowy walk and I feel amazing for a bit of fresh air. I feel like I can be a pessimist sometimes, I don’t mean to be but sometimes this mood just seems to take over. Knowing how happy I feel right now I think it will be a really good idea to write a letter reminding myself of this and to tell me to get my ass into gear. I’ve only done yoga once but my aim for 2015 is to give it a proper go. I also have had an idea for a book for some time and I would like to see how it turns out on paper. Have a great New Year x
It’s lovely to hear that the post resonated Claire. It’s amazing isn’t it, how the simplest things are often the ones that have the power to turn a negative mood around. I’ve been getting out and about on my bike most days this past week and cycling through nearby Victoria Park sorts my head right out. I’m a big fan of yoga, for boosting my mood as much as being good for my body. I love going to classes but there are lots of books (I’ve got Kathryn’s Budig’s Big Book Of Yoga, which is great at explaining all the poses and includes several sequences) and online classes you can try too. You should totally get started on the book, exciting! Wishing you a wonderful New Year! x
I really love this letter idea Miranda. Such a nice way of reminding yourself of what you set out to achieve. Next year (tomorrow eek!) I am aiming to get back in to my positive way of thinking. About 5 years ago I really got in to the whole law of attraction and positive thinking and when I really focussed on it it worked so well. Then I kind of forgot it! In the simplest form like attracts like so if you think positive you get positive back and vice versa. Instead of setting goal and resolutions you basically affirm things as if they have already happened so I am, I can etc rather than I want to. Don’t include any negatives. So if you keep saying ‘I can’t afford that’ or ‘I can’t do that’ that is exactly what will happen. I’ll always remember one my mum told me which is quite superficial but explains it well! Rather than saying ‘I have no wrinkles’ you say ‘My skin is firm and youthful’! Seems to have worked for her! Its just a different way of thinking and making you focus on the good things in your life xx
Really love this post – beautifully written and honest. The end of one year and start of the next is such an amazing time for reflecting on life and being thankful – which is what I will be doing today (armed with a glass of champagne, obvs)! x
Amazing post, you should write a book Miranda!