A friend was telling me that he buys his mum, as requested, a set of ‘nice’ smellies every Christmas. You know the kind of thing, boxes comprising a perfume and a matching shower gel and/or body lotion. Recently, back at his parent’s house, he discovered the last few year’s-worth, unwrapped but unopened and gathering dust.
When he asked his mum why she hadn’t used them she said she was saving them for best, an indeterminate special day in the future that might or might not ever come. Hearing this story made me feel sad. Admittedly I was in an emotional kind of mood and I know there are much worse things happening in the world, I haven’t lost all sense of perspective, but why do we keep things for best and consequently never get around to using them? It’s such a waste.
I have a shelf in a cupboard dedicated to notebooks of various levels of ‘nice’-ness, all yet to be written in. Some I’ve had for years, like the one in the picture, which was a happily-received thank you gift. I guess I feel as if my thoughts aren’t important enough to fill up the lovely pages, or that my writing’s too messy, or something. But really, what am I waiting for? And if I never get around to writing in it who the heck else is going to want a notebook with my initials on?
Similarly my bathroom cabinet is stuffed with lovely beauty booty such as the yet-to-be-used Kiehl’s face cream in the photograph (one of the major perks of working in women’s magazines was the bag of specially-selected beauty goodies you got gifted every birthday and my bathroom is evidence of this). I’m guilty of buying posh products to give my bathroom that boutique hotel vibe and then not using them, because they’re too good for everyday, like the Aesop hand wash in the picture. And I have to admit that I tend to use my chicest candles, like the Diptyque one above, for decoration and actually light bag-after-bag of cheap tea lights.
When it comes to clothes and accessories I’m less precious, wearing and/or using even pricy purchases to death. The sunglasses in the photograph cost an eye-watering amount of money. I bought them, along with a Whistles leather jacket, a laptop and not one, but two, dresses from Liberty, not long after my mum died and I went into a spending frenzy (they don’t mention that phase in the five stages of grief and luckily – for my bank balance – it didn’t last very long). However I’ve worn the glasses every sunny day since and, even though they’re missing one of the bits that sits on my nose leaving them ever-so-slightly lopsided, I love them just as much as the day I bought them.
What I’m trying to say in a roundabout kind of way is that, starting today, I’m going to stop saving things for best and actually use them. I’m going to write in my ‘nice’ notebooks. I will slather on that face cream, go wild with the hand wash and open the fancy shower gel that’s been sitting in my bathroom cabinet for I-don’t-know-how-long. I’m going to light the Diptyque candle. I’ll eat dinner from my best crockery, even if I’m only having beans on toast. And I’ll drink that bottle of wine I’ve been saving, for no other reason other than it’s Tuesday and life, on balance, is good. Who’s with me?! To borrow (ish) a phrase, we’re worth it. Right?!
Are you guilty of saving things for best and then never getting around to using them? What everyday luxuries do you indulge in? I’d love to know.
[ezcol_divider][ezcol_1third id=”” class=”” style=””]
[/ezcol_1third][ezcol_2third_end id=”” class=”” style=””]
Vote for us in the Best Lifestyle Blog Category
We are so pleased to be shortlisted in the Best Lifestyle Blog category in the Cosmopolitan Awards 2014 in association with Next! Thank you to everyone who nominated us… All we ask now is that you vote for us! It literally only takes 10 seconds…[raw]
[/raw]
[/ezcol_2third_end][ezcol_divider]
I love crafting and can spend a ridiculous amount of money on fabric and pretty papers and stationery for them to sit in boxes and drawers because they are too nice to use. I’ve recently tried to get over this by making them into beautiful gifts for friends, as there does come a point where the “too nice to use” stuff takes over all your storage! I’m the same with nice candles and toiletries, and pretty tops and dresses for that matter, choosing to save wearing them for special occasions that don’t always come. It’s funny isn’t it, but you’re right, life is too short to leave them gathering dust! x
I love that you’re using your too pretty to use fabric, papers and stationery to create gifts for your (lucky!) friends M-J! x
Hear hear Miranda! I couldn’t agree more, we buy/receive all of these lovely lovely things and then leave them there while they sit looking lonely and unloved. I have been doing better lately, but I’m going to have a renewed effort and get on and use my fanciest items, and when they’re gone? Well I might have to treat myself to another…
I like your thinking Sarah!
So true…….. why do we do that! I’m going to start using all my “to good to use” stuff and get the buzz about replacing it. Win.. win !!
Exactly Marlene!
I am so guilty of this!! I have hoards of lovely things, just waiting until that ‘special time’. Especially over-precious with so many of our beautiful wedding presents (dinner service, cutlery, glasses etc) which, 3 years later, have moved house more times than they have been used. The joke is, whenever a special event does come round, I am too wussy to use them, scared that they’d get damaged, and just use our every-day, dishwasher-safe alternatives! Least they look pretty…….?!
Hmm, perhaps you could start by having drinks with a weekend brunch for two out of a pair of the glasses Dani? Baby steps…
Ah I so empathise with this! Its one of the reasons we didnt put a dinner set for “best” on our wedding list instead opting for a white dishwasher / oven proof china set from Sophie Conran (I LOVE IT) and we always use and looks super smart at dinner parties and just as good having cornflakes from. I am not really someone who saves things for best as I believe there’s no point in case “best” doesnt come (morbid perhaps but practical). I wear my Russell and Bromley shoes to every do (and they’re my very best) and light my Jo Malone candle at every winter dinner party. I am terrible at waiting so I have only just bought my summer holiday nail polish (a RMS recommendation) and will just about manage to not use it in the next 6 days…
I’m impatient perhaps!
I love your philosophy Victoria. Big fan of Sophie Conran china too and great to have a set that’s smart enough for dinner parties but works for everyday too. Also you have a summer holiday nail polish? That’s amazing! What colour have you gone for?
It’s Essie Sunday Funday, I think a Charlotte recommendation – it looks lush! Can’t wait to splash it about on my toes and fingers 😉
I’m a fan of Essie’s Sunday Funday too! Essie’s Cute As A Button is another great perfect-for-holidays coral.
Ah don’t encourage me! I think I’ve most corals covered….!
I stopped doing this with clothes when I stopped doing it with food! I used to *always* ‘save the best till last’ with my food – for example: if I was eating a roast, I’d eat all the bits I didn’t like first. This was stupid because (1) the nice stuff was cold by the time I got to it and (2) I’d filled myself up so wasn’t hungry anymore. So I stopped! Now I eat everything together and enjoy it much more. 😉 This makes me sound really sad but it it was a bit of a culture change for me, hah.
[I used to also ‘save’ new clothes until a special occasion and, often, waited so long that I wasn’t that excited about wearing it anymore – which was stupid. So now I wear them as soon as I can!]
I used to do exactly the same thing, particularly with roasts Kate. Partly because I didn’t used to like vegetables I think. These days I’m a fan of most veggies and so I’m much happier to eat everything together. Yorkshire Puddings taste MUCH better when just out of the oven and piping hot!
I am not guilty of this but my big sister most certainly is!
She has a wardrobe in her house that is crammed full of clothes ‘for best’ and then she trolls herself out in the same pair of Levi’s over and over again, and, lovely as the Levi’s are they are not her only item of clothing! I’m always asking her when she thinks the Queen is coming for tea?!
I’m all for a little bit of daily extravagance – in fact, just bought myself a little bejewelled tee from Selfridges which I’m planning to wear just at home tonight for when the man returns from working away. He shall not notice but if I’ve got to wait up past midnight for his return I’ll be sitting about looking pretty at least!
x
I’m much more like Kate than your sister Pamela and wear my new clothes as soon as possible. Ooh, I do love a sparkly tee – yay for daily extravagance!
@Kate – not so guilty of doing this with food apart from with Maccy D’s….the chips always get wolfed down before the Quarter Pounder!
x
I used to be terrible for this, until we moved flat and I had to clear out some lovely make up and toiletries that I had been ‘keeping for best’ that had now gone off – it was such a waste! Things that I had been bought or even bought myself, that I deemed too nice to use every day and so they just sat there not getting used until I chucked them out – ridiculous! I am a keen baker and also do this with baking supplies weirdly (not ingredients – that would be insane and produce bad cakes!) but decorations and paper cakes etc – not wanting to use things unless it’s a really special occasion – so silly.
I obviously get this trait from my mother who I now check up on to make sure she uses gifts that I buy for her – for example she asked for some REN Moroccan oil for Christmas last year but I check with her that she’s actually using it and not using the cheap stuff and saving that for best!
So I have started using my ‘best things’ every day as this trait in her was making me sad! Like you I don’t have a problem using my expensive accessories or clothes on a daily basis (not that I have many of them!) but will now use that lovely lipstick, eye shadow palette or expensive shower gel instead of just leaving it on the side and using some £1 shower gel instead! Plus quality items do tend to last longer therefore you buy less of them so it works out in the end???
One item I do need to take this attitude with is my Jo Malone candle – I decided to have a new fragrance for my wedding day of Wild Bluebell and was incredibly lucky to receive the shower gel, body lotion and a candle from my parents the morning of my wedding. I had the candle burning while I got ready but have not used it since as it seems too good to use, so just sits there gathering dust. We also have a bottle of red given to us as a wedding gift which is ‘too nice to drink’! So silly!
I have also been known to very occasionally do it with clothes – I have a pair of limited edition black and leopard print Nike air max still in their box that I bought myself last August that just seem too nice to wear! Think they might make their debut tomorrow – they aren’t doing anyone any good in their box in my spare room! We should enjoy our lovely things!
I have some lovely flowery cupcake wrappers that have been sitting in my cupboards for years Bryony, I’m vowing right now to get my bake on and actually use them! Isn’t it funny how Mums often don’t use the lovely stuff they get bought. It’s a great strategy to check your Mum is using her REN Moroccan Oil (love REN btw!). Exactly, you definitely need less of the pricey products so on a cost-per-use basis they probably work out the same as the cheaper stuff! Oh, you should light your Jo Malone candle, perhaps not every day, but maybe once a week. Hmm, I know where you’re coming from with trainers but I always cave and wear them in the end. I missed out on those black and leopard print Air Max and look on enviously every time I see someone wearing them!
I think life is for living and am rubbish at keeping things “for best”. I was talking with my bamps last week and he told me he always keeps a pair of pyjama’s and slippers for best in case he has to go to hospital. It made me feel so bad so much so I’ve vowed never to keep anything for best.
On the subject of best china, why is it always the nice stuff that smashes?? I have this gaudy early 70’s plate set that I swear is bullet proof whereas all my fancy platws smash so easy 🙁 xx
That’s so true Helen, it’s always the nice stuff that leaps out of my hands and ends up in bits on the floor when I’m doing the washing up. I have some similarly bulletproof pieces, even if I actually threw them on the floor they would probably bounce!
I realised I was doing this – and it also meant I was buying new stuff all the time ‘stuff to wear now’ as opposed to wearing the stuff I had.
so I challenged myself to buy no new things and just wear a different outfit every day from the stuff I already owned.
I thought I would last a couple of weeks but nearly 3 months later I’m still going – its really nice to get out the ‘nice’ stuff and wear it more often 🙂
Great challenge – you must have saved yourself so much money too!
I am going to burn a little bit of my diptyque candle tonight as currently it’s just gathering dust. Just for an hour obviously x
Haha, obviously! x
Don’t really tend to do this with general household items, but we do have a ridiculous amount of champagne/cava etc that we got given for our wedding (over a year ago!) that for one reason or another, is still sat in a cupboard untouched…! One bottle made it to the fridge for our anniversary but then we went out for dinner instead and forgot about it. I wouldn’t say we’re saving it for best, but at the same time we’re not cracking it open just for the sake of it (which we probably should lol). Think it’s time to get some friends round and crack it open instead of wine!
Absolutely, have a champagne party Jo!
My husband and I were on holiday in Rome and he annoyed me by responding with “when in Rome…” to every suggestion, be it a gelato or another peroni stop. The holiday is a distant memory but the phrase stuck.
We use it as a reminder that life is for living right then, in the moment, and it has acted as a prompt for some amazing memories. Fish and chip night with champers on a random Tuesday, nipping off to France for a day trip, and many more to come! Well…when in Rome! x
Love this Sarah, I’m totally stealing it! Also fish and chips with champagne – yum! x
Oh this reminds me of my sister in laws baby shower a few years ago. I was decorating and I got out these lovely wine glasses (a wedding gift) from her cupboard. She immediently said “No we cant use them as they are for best.” And I said to her – if your baby shower isn’t “best” then what is!!! It made me think too.
I now make a habit of trying to use all my posh toiletries, candles etc although I still struggle with using the Jo Malone candle! Its so pretty!
Rachie xo
Exactly, your baby shower is surely pretty much the definition of best! We all seem to struggle with lighting our fancy candles, how funny! x
Ah I’m so guilty of this! I actually gasped out loud when you said you where going to light the Diptyque candle (the one I’ve been covering btw!). I’ve got a Pom Noir candle by Jo M sat there looking so pretty on my dresser…I’m lighting that bad boy tonight!