This Thursday will be our 5th year wedding anniversary. As I’m sure many of you would agree, time really does ruddy fly doesn’t it?! As I write this feature a framed picture of our first dance is directly in my line of view, I can remember that moment so clearly, how could it possibly have been so long ago?
This post is about making time for just the two of you, which in my experience is hard enough what with work, friends and family commitments let alone when a tiny and extremely dependent person joins the fold. I am only 8 weeks in. I haven’t a clue what’s the norm to be honest, we’ve managed 3 “date nights” all of which we were home by 10pm, what happened to us?!
We’re extremely lucky in that my parents live close by and are only too happy to spend the evening with their first grandchild (We were embarrassed to come home early a few weeks ago to find they had invited four of their friends to our house for wine, a take-away and um….Eurovision, in full par-tay mode whilst we were ready for a cup of cocoa and some shut eye) And whilst we have taken full advantage of this babysitting situation luxury we’ve been eager to return home as frankly, we’ve missed Mabel too much to stay away any longer than dessert.
Perhaps this will change in time (As I mentioned, it’s only been two months after all) but I can’t help but worry we won’t make the effort, and I’m a huge believer in making constant effort in a relationship – we’ve been together over a decade and I fully appreciate that even though you might still fancy the pants off each other, you have to show it.
There is nothing like watching your husband with your daughter to make you fall in love with them all over again, I knew James would make the perfect Dad but seeing him with her makes my heart all big and melty. We make a great team the three of us, and even after this short time when she’s not there, if only for a few hours, it feels as though there’s something missing. Weekend mornings (which let’s fact it, can be really early) spent in bed, all watching “The Goodwife” on Netflix and drinking copious amounts of coffee are actually the best mornings I’ve ever experienced. (Mabel is clearly neither drinking coffee or watching an American TV series but is propped up between us smiling away at our sleep deprived state.)
We’ve been discussing summer holidays recently and the thought of all of the baby paraphernalia that would have to accompany us makes my head spin. James has suggested we go away for a long weekend just the two of us and perhaps have a break in the UK with Mabel later in the year. Some quality relaxation time sounds lovely, but the more I think about the possibility of leaving her at home the more I find myself quietly stressing about the situation. And yet I know we should go ahead and make the…effort.
Do any of you folk worry about not spending enough time together, baby or no baby? Does the thought of leaving your littles at home for anything longer than an evening make you feel all peculiar? Am I at risk of becoming deathly dull with nothing but Mabel’s latest minor development and what’s currently happening to completely fictional characters in a pretend law firm to discuss?!
Your feedback and advice as always is muchos appreciated.
Oh and if any of you have some family friendly yet chic getaway ideas and suggestions on how we overcome potentially taking 6 suitcases then I will officially love you forever.
We had the same thing, I found it slightly harder as ours got older, she is 21 months now and even though we miss her she is now at an age when she is missing us so it makes it even harder to leave and however we rush to get home cos we feel a bit naked being out as a twosome, anytime is really appreciated. We try to do something together once a month, we balance it where once a month we will go out just two of us and then we will also have a family day as well and take the baby somewhere nice and we always go away for the night on our wedding anniversary now.
My mum always told me if the opportunity is there take it or you will regret it later!!
Hi Koren
I hadn’t considered that – the fact it will actually get more difficult as they get older – they will clearly miss you too. One a month sounds realistic x
I think that’s amazing if you’ve managed 3 nights in 8 weeks! I’d say that was a great effort. We had twin boys 3 weeks ago and we’re lucky if we get to eat a meal together uninterrupted! x
Thanks Hayley! I suppose because it was only for a few hours at a time it seems less, if that makes sense. Congratulations on your twin boys! my, you must be busy. Mabel without fail always pipes up wanting her dinner when we’re in the middle of ours 🙂
Oh my, three date nights already, amazing! Our little one is 3.5 months but we live in a different country from our parents, so no on hand babysitters….hence even less quality hubby and wife time as two.
As you say, it’s really important, so if you can even get a few hours together, then enjoy it and it means the time as three will be even more special!
Like you, weekend mornings as three are fab, I’m also loving lunch out (instead of nights out!), when we pass our little man between us,enjoying the comments from passers by and his smiles as he watches the world around him.
Our holidays will include a lot of baby gumph and planes, but travel will be rewarded by time with family and friends.
I guess everyone finds a different balance between their couple and family roles.
Your post has perhaps made me realise I do need to put more effort into time just the two of us, somehow we need to make time, ignore how shattered we might feel and just be us.
Jill thanks for your feedback, I do appreciate how lucky we are to have on hand sitters, I think in a way it makes me feel guilty for wanting to come home early as it’s such a luxury. We too are loving lunches out and doing fairly “normal” everyday things but as a threesome instead of a two, it’s like a whole new experience. x
Effie is 7 months old now and I still struggle, but we have managed a few date nights and enjoy them more each time. The other thing that I did yesterday was to meet up for lunch with the girls, both the mummy ones and the non mummy ones! I left Effie with her daddy and they had a ball just the two of them, he loved having her to himself and I enjoyed 6 hours of blissful catching up (yes 6! It was initially going to be 3 but I had to ring home a few times and extend my mum pass!).
I do feel guilty but at the same time the whole absence making the heart grow fonder thing is so true and just makes me a better mum when I get home because I appreciate her more and our time together more.
On the holiday note, I am currently organising for our first holiday abroad to Menorca (short flight of 2 hours usually filled with children because it’s a family friendly island) and we are packing light! We’re staying in a villa which means that we can set it up more like home. We’ll see how it goes!! Fingers crossed x
Hi Liz! I haven’t been to Menorca for years but I have heard it’s a great location for children. I think the self catering thing is a must isn’t it so you can accommodate everything you need, are you taking pushchairs and carseats etc or hiring them when you get there? Can you even do that?!
I’ve been on work trips to London a few times, I’ve missed Mabel so much but it’s lovely to come home, especially now she is smiling so much x
We are taking the buggy which I am really stressed about, there are way too many horror stories of broken ones but I think ours is sturdy enough to get through the other side unscathed!! I’ve hired a car with a baby seat in and there is already a high chair and cot at the villa. I’ve been to Menorca a few times and would really recommend it for a chilled out sunny holiday and two hours isn’t that long so if Effie hates flying it’ll be over relatively quickly! It’s going to be interesting! Xx
good luck 🙂 and thanks for the buggy tip, we bought ours as it was so compact/lightweight so perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad taking it on a plane x
If I could go back to the newborn days I would try and do more adult stuff whilst just bringing the baby along. They are so much more portable at that age. We could have gone to the cinema, for nice lunches/meals out and although obviously there are interruptions to deal with it’s nothing like the attention you need to give a mobile & noisy toddler!
I left my son overnight for the first time when he was 8 months old, to attend my sister in laws hen do. I was gone for 36 hours and although he was completely fine, it was tough for me as I was still breastfeeding and expressing just wasn’t efficient enough to relieve my discomfort! An odd night away is ok but any longer than that and I would just find all I thought about was getting back to my baby. I think the next time away was for my 30th birthday when he was 14 months old. My husband has to work away a fair bit and I know our son really misses him (staring mournfully at photos saying ‘Dad?’ is a bit of a giveaway and searching the entire flat looking for him) when he’s gone, so I wouldn’t want to subject him to both of us being away for too long.
A few people have advised that Kathryn – to go make the most of the newborn stage as toddlers can be so challenging!
That’s what I worry about the whole weekend away thing, would the worry/missing Mabel element outweigh the fun/relaxation we should be having? I think perhaps it would at this early stage (she would still only be 4 months the time we are looking at going) x
The thing about having a first baby is that it’s all so unknown. My husband and I go away at least 5 or 6 times a year because we blummin’ LOVE travelling, but I’m really aware that it’s going to change quite a lot when Bean arrives in 12 weeks (12 weeks!). Gone will be the 3 week road trips around California, the last minute city breaks to Istanbul, and finding a new way to do what we love will have to be found. But that’s fine. I have faith we will.
Husband is suggesting going away mid September to a relative’s house in Spain. Bean will be roughly a month by that point… From your experience, is that too early to attempt a foreign trip? Planes, nappies, different house, hot weather? He says it would be nice to have a break away just the 3 of us, (and he’s right, it would be lovely) but I fear it’s too early. I’m hardly going be stripping off down to a bikini anyway, am I?! I’m trying to persuade him more down the CentreParcs route! Xx
Tallulah, we first travelled with our baby when he was 7 weeks old. We live in Abu Dhabi so were flying back to the UK to introduce him to family etc. From my experience I would say that, yes whilst travelling with a baby is not stress free it is so much easier to do whilst they are still small babies. You will find since their needs are so basic…eat, sleep, change nappy…they are easily adaptable to a new environment. Plus during the flight they will mainly sleep, which is a darn sight easier than having to entertain a toddler. My advice would be to not let having a baby put you off your love for travel. Yes, as they get older you will have to tailor your trips to fit your family (flight times are a big consideration for us now, as well as toddler suitable accommodation) but it is doable and still a wonderful experience.
Hi Tallulah! 3 weeks – how exciting 🙂
I don’t think I would have personally coped with a foreign trip at a month no, but it’s really up to how confident you are and the fact it is a relatives house might make things easier. And it WOULD be lovely, perhaps if I had had the opportunity I just would have gone for it?!
There are some gorgeous swimming costumes around too x
We are 17 months into parenthood and even though I often find myself craving some alone time, when we are apart from our boy I miss him immensely. That said, I would say it is essential to have at least a night away just the two of you so that you have time to reconnect without thoughts of the next meal time/nap popping up. As well as that well deserved lie in! We are heading to the south of France for our family holiday this year. Although we are yet to go, I would really recommend the company we have booked through, Tots to Travel. They have some lovely locations with the added bonus that all the baby/toddler paraphernalia is provided with the accommodation, even down to baby carriers and pushchairs. X
Thank so much for the recommendation Abi, I have bookmarked it for later to have a proper look, if everything is provided that would make things so much easier/less stressful.
France is my favourite – very jealous x
I think time just the 2 of you is so important. Yes, it might just be a quick meal and you are home within 3 hours – but being able to relax together is a luxury that not all couples get – so go for it when you can!!
We recently left my 20 month old for 9 nights to go on our honeymoon which felt like a huge decision and there were lots of tears and uncertainty and guilt about it. Mostly from me. Honestly, she was fine. She was spolit rotten with lots of day trips and treats from my parents and didn’t seem any worse off without Mummy. Secretly I was gutted 😉
9 nights was actually a little too much at her age but I wouldn’t hesistate to do a long weekend away. Much as I love my daughter I sometimes need to feel like the old ‘me’……whatever that means!
Check http://www.babyfriendlyboltholes.co.uk for holiday ideas 🙂
Hi Nicola, thanks for the link, I hope you had the most wonderful Honeymoon – five years later we are still yet to go on ours (!) we did manage a mini moon but finally got to the “let’s do this road trip” thing last year only to find out I was expecting….Ah well. x
We’re two and a half years in, almost veterans (not) and I’d definitely echo what has been said about doing more adult things when they’re at their youngest (I love the lady who referred to them as ”portable” – how perfectly accurate!) we definitely didn’t (first time new baby, it’s daunting and you don’t know what you can manage) – looking back I know we could have done much more and especially as my parents have both passed away and my husband’s are quite elderly and a good hour and a half away; we have had the grand total of one date night in thirty months, thankfully supplemented in the last year by date afternoons – stolen time together from work while George is in Nursery.
One thing that has been truly special is going away as a family in the UK to beautiful, unique holiday lets. Far and away easier than hotels – especially as Mabel gets older. The beauty of staying ‘home’ so to speak, being you can fling everything in the car and just go. Beyond valuable when you’re at the peak of pram/cot/highchair stage as travelling light is almost an impossibility.
This… http://www.wyevalleyholidaycottages.co.uk/monks-hall-brockweir-tintern being the most beautiful autumn retreat I have ever encountered and one I cannot recommend more highly as both baby/child friendly and magically romantic.
Anne.x
Wow thanks – so many lovely links! I will take on board your advice, Mabel is quite “portable” and we should make the most of it 🙂
Date afternoons – what a cool idea, especially if the weather is nice x
Love that you have actually managed to do 3 ‘date’ nights. I aspire to this and probably only manage ‘date’ nights for birthdays and special occasions and my girls are 10 months and 2 and a half!! Joking aside we do try to pop out and about and like you are lucky to have lots of willing grandparents on hand to help. I don’t mind leaving them now, as in truth it’s nice to have a break, but do find that I don’t like going out for long and am always happy to be back. It’s easier going out at night now as both are asleep at 7ish so we don’t really miss much. As my husband works away a lot or is just generally late home from work he likes to spend as much time with the girls as he can at the weekends anyway. Regarding going away we’ve done the odd weekend away which is always nice and think I first went away by myself when Molly was about 6 months, leaving her with Daddy just for one night and found myself rushing back as quickly as I could. We did our first couple weekend when she was 11 months and had 2 nights away. Mind you my mum banned us from going away again as it resulted in unplanned baby number 2!!! Regarding holidays we are having the same dilemma and think we have given up on going abroad and will just go down to Devon again I think. I haven’t been abroad in about 5 years now so am craving sunshine but think it will need to wait. Check out Baby Friendly Boltholes if you are looking for nice places to stay both UK and abroad. http://www.babyfriendlyboltholes.co.uk/. They have loads of places and most have all the baby paraphernalia there already so you don’t need to take it with you. Perfect! x
Ha ha ha!!!! I don’t think we are ready for baby number two just erm….yet!
I am also craving sunshine, although I think there are few places more beautiful than Devon/Cornwall when the weather is favourable x
Our first holiday abroad with Leo was when he was just over 4 months old. He had started eating breakfast and a bit of lunch… along with majority of his bottles still. Stressing-hell. But actually, it was SO fine. There are so many brilliant items out there to assist you in everything you need, from ready made formula that you can take on the plane to steriliser bags that last for 24 hours once filled with (most allow you to also use foreign) water to travel grobags (which essentially means your baby can be in his/her night time sleeping bag in their pushchair and then go straight from pushchair to cot without having to be changed/woken etc).
My biggest piece of advice is not to go alone. We went with my best friend, her husband and her 2 kiddies (Jessie being 10 weeks older than Leo so at least they were in a similar boat), my parents, my brother, Sister-in-Law, my niece and me SIL’s parents! Haha…we were definitely not short of hands. This meant that 1, we got a couple of nights alone to do what we wanted, to chill out, to have a beer… to go to bed! and 2, there was always an extra pair of eyes to watch him whilst I popped back to the room to rinse the bottles or mix his porridge.
We went all inclusive. Which I’m not a massive fan of. BUT in this instance, it seemed to be very helpful. It just meant that we never really had to venture that far – the room always being accessible (helpful for fear of leaving my brain in there at times). Leo would have his last bottle at 7, go in his stroller, come down to dinner with us and fall asleep and then just be popped into the travel cot whenever we were ready to retire. This can obviously be applied to self catering as well when visiting different restaurants at night.
We are having our first trip abroad, just the three of us in just over a weeks time. This is going to be VERY different. But I can’t wait. The flight is only 2 hours which I’m so pleased about as he now requires a lot more entertaining than he did at 4 months when he couldn’t move. We have a swim up room and a private terrace and we are going to relax to the maximum and spend some quality time together, as a family. Because as much as we try to make time to spend time together as a couple (which by the way we haven’t been great at, but I’m pretty sure we still love each other so we must be doing something right and we’re off for a short break the two of us towards the end of the year… whoop!) I feel it’s equally as important for us to spend time as a 3. What with work and almost at times being like ships that pass in the night and days where hubs might not see Leo at all, we are in need of some quality time as a family.
x
We have considered asking family to come away with us, but I don’t want them to feel we’re suggesting it so we have babysitters (!)
I think the private pool/terrace is definitely an option and sounds super luxe, where a bouts are you going?
I’m not a fan of all inclusive either (did it once half by accident (!) and we vowed never to do it again!!) but I do see how it would work with a little one, just a case of finding the right package I guess. x
We’re going to Ibiza. It’s a 2 hour flight so perfect for Leo at the moment. I’m also going back in July… sans baby! for 4 days! this is the longest we’ve been apart in a year. It will be very weird.x
I’d definitely agree with some of the comments above a young baby is a lot easier to take on holiday, we took our son abroad for the first time at 5 months to Ibiza and it was great, he slept through the flight, in the evenings we went out for dinner while he slept next to us in his pram etc all very easy and it felt like we had a lot of time for ourselves too – I didn’t feel like there was too much paraphanelia needed then to be honest, you can do without a lot of things. Taking a 2 year old abroad on the other hand has been a lot harder work, but still lots of fun for us and worthwhile. I think if you are easy going about travelling with children, it isn’t that tough. Leaving them for the evening, I have found easier now, it gives you both a break which I think as time goes on you feel less guilty about taking, and it gives your child a chance to get used to other people, especially if you leave them with family – its a time for them to bond with grandparents or aunties and uncles 🙂
We went all inclusive to Ibiza last year with my sister, her husband, their 2 year old, and my parents. It was great. You get plenty of baggage allowance on a package deal, and can take 2 of pram, car seat or travel cot. Hotel had proper cots so we just took the pram, right up to the gate to board the plane. We arranged it so each couple got a date night during the week and the rest of the time we ate together. The food was excellent and there was so much choice it meant I got to try my baby on loads of different foods without worrying about wastage. I couldn’t have done it a month after the birth though, there is no way to predict how you will recover and I think if you have any complications it would be too much.
That’s where we’re going! I wonder if it’s the same hotel. Can. Not. Wait. Glad you had a good holiday experience 🙂
Never been to Ibiza Kathryn but heard it’s a beautiful island, whereabouts did you go? Did you find some days it was too hot? I wouldn’t know what to do if it was, except stay indoors with Aircon I guess? Mabel’s favourite state is a state of undress, she hates being even the slightest bit warm ( I hope the naked thing doesn’t continue to her teens, we’ll be having words!!!!) x
We went to the Grand Palladium Palace in Playa d’en Bossa. We went in June and it only got hot towards the end of the week, there was a lovely breeze every day. You could always dip her in the pool if you thought she was hot! I kind of forgot all about routine while we were there and just let David sleep whenever he wanted, there were Moroccan style beds by the pool which were quite nice for this. I got a surprising amount of reading and sunbathing done which is always my main aim for any holiday. My nephew needed more quiet to sleep so he had his naps in the hotel room, and a parent/grandparent sat in front of the French windows listening for him, while other members of the party would take them a fresh drink every now and again. David fell asleep in his pram most evenings for part of the night but we were usually in our room by 11pm.
I totally agree with this post. I think it’s essential to still be in that relationship with your partner & make time to do things as a couple. I think it will make you stronger in your relationship and as a result, as parents who are on the same level as each other. However how that works, I’ve no idea! Our beautiful daughter (Charlotte Juniper, we’re calling her Lottie) is 8 days old & my best friend has offered to come all the way from Durham to Manchester to babysit so my partner & I can have some quality time together in a few weeks. I’ve taken her up on the offer as grandparents aren’t nearby but already my partner and I have said we’d only pop down the road to the local for an hour! I suppose an hour of quality time is better than none at all. It’s going to be hard as I just want to be with her all the time but we must do it. Especially as I will have to leave her at some point to go to work!
Love Juniper Melissa! hope you are enjoying these early stages of motherhood, it goes so bloody quick, Mabel is already growing out of so many clothes!
What a lovely gesture – your friends offer, my sister has been very good in that way. Her name is Melissa by the way, I guess Charlotte and Melissa must go well together x
Lovely to read this post, but I am starting to feel anxious about getting quality time in with the other half when baby arrives (currently 18 weeks, nearly half way- eek!) I wonder how do people manage when breastfeeding?? I hear babies can feed every 3 hours or so, so do people express, or just not go out for long, anyone any experiences they can share – pleeeease! X
My second fed very 45 mins :o) then every 2 hours til she was ten months you just adapt your life and remember – it flies by. Plenty of time for dates and nights out – you will blink and the baby won’t be small and squishy anymore it will be 3 years old and driving you mental with constant questions about EVERYTHING :o)
Oh my days, every 45 mins! Hehe, not much time for a date night there! And think you’re right, lots of time for time on your own later on, I’m quite looking forward to our threesome ‘dates’ to be honest x
I LOVE our threesome trips/time, maybe I need to focus on this fact more and stop worrying so much about just us two, at least for the time being x
Can I just say how refreshing it is to see a blogger/writer taking the time to leave such detailed replies. This is fast becoming my favourite site x
Thanks Joanne, My thinking is if someone takes the time to give advice/offer recommendations you should be courteous enough to offer thanks and a response. Glad you are liking RMS x
I totally agree with this, every time I have commented on a post, I get a lovely reply back. Its really lovelyx
I’d highly recommend getting away the three of you ASAP and as often as possible before she is mobile!! We moved to HK when William was 6 months old and crawling, it was so easy just to shove him in the sling and go out for dinner! Then I swiftly fell preggo with Lily and with no family or trusted babysitters we did very little socialising that didn’t include Willbo. That said we always had a blast and we weren’t the only ones going to expat house parties with a baby. Lily is 20 months now and looking back we are lucky if we get out together once every 3 months. To us – quality time is a “cuddle” (wink wink) on the sofa at ten pm when both babies are finally settled! Your life changes when you have small people placing such constant demands on you, and the thought of leaving them has always left me panicky. Perhaps when they are older and sleeping through the night we will have a weekend away but at the moment we just amaze do with fleeting moments of togetherness.
To be honest I have nothing to talk about when in a date with Mr O – so I find group social events are the best way to spend time together. It’s nice for him to see that I’m still Jen, and not the sleep deprived anxious mother with an incredibly short temper that he always sees at home!
That said its all abut balance – and you have to find a way to please the whole family – do what works for you and if you have the support then I’d take all the help you can get! Xxx
I think that’s it Jen, finding a balance. So far every date night has been mostly spent talking about Mabel 🙂
That’s the word I was looking for, anxious. Plus I have been very jealous when I’ve missed smiles or laughter, sounds ridiculous but absolutely true! x
Hi Charlotte, bit late to the party but congrats on the Birth of Mabel. She’s beautiful, as is her name!
I’m abit of a veteran to this parenting malarkey with our daughter being 4 now. I would say it is hugely important to try and get ‘couple’ time once you are parents. It was one thing I was adamant about when I was pregnant and we are very lucky that I have an amazing auntie who has always been desperate to have our little one whenever she can.
I used to feel really guilty leaving our daughter, my partner didn’t really understand it that much but I think it’s just natural for mums to feel guilty about anything really! As time has gone on, that guilt has definitely eased and I do enjoy our ‘couple’ time much more now than I did in the early days.
As for holidays, we went to Ireland to visit family when our little one was 4 months. We went on the ferry and stayed at relatives houses so it was fairly stress free…. However, when our daughter was 16months we had this brilliant idea to go to Mexico…. And take her with us! BIG mistake!! It was far far too warm for her (even in the shade), and it took her a good week to settle into the time difference. All the time whilst we had booked it my auntie had constantly said “are you sure you don’t just want to go on a break the two of you” and I constantly said “no, we’ll be fine!”. Looking back, I really think those two weeks on our own would have done our relationship the world of good. We would have missed her crazily but she’s had a lot of health problems that have been hard to deal with with operations and stuff and generally just becoming parents really pushed our relationship to the brink. A few weeks to just be ‘us’ would have been very beneficial at the time. However, I do know that had we done that, I would have seen the other children there and thought she would have been fine so probably pined for her anyway!
I think you just have to do what feels ‘right’ for you as a couple. Some of my friends can’t leave their baby at all, but we feel that having the odd long weekend or even an odd trip to the cinema makes us happier parents. And our daughter gets spoilt rotten by our auntie too. 🙂
We get married in October and plan on going on a mini moon for up to a week after the wedding, on our own. We will hopefully do a ‘big’ holiday again next year (probably combining disney world with a trip to canada), and we are much more positive that that will be more enjoyable than Mexico!
I always remember a midwife telling me that Happy parents mean a happy baby and I think it’s very true. 🙂 X
Hi Kat! That is exactly what my midwife said, happy parents make a happy baby, Mabel is a jolly little soul, I hope that’s an indication we’re loving life right now, sleep deprived or not 🙂
You were extremely brave to attempt Mexico, hats off to you for giving it a go, many wouldn’t, and I’m a big believer in no regrets (as well as making an effort). Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! October is a lovely month to get married I think, our mini moon (although erm…mini!) was still absolutely amazing, I’m sure you will have the best time x
We’ve always tried to work on the principle that we wanted Freddie to fit into our lives and come along with us wherever we went. it’s not so easy all the time though we’ve found ways to make it work. If we want to go to our favourite restaurant we go for lunch instead of dinner etc, boozy dinners out with friends have been replaced with friends over for dinners and sleepovers with their children, travelling has been replaced with villa holidays to Portugal and Tenerife with parents. I felt like having Freddie was just a fabulous extension of our lives and I want to still do the things we enjoyed. We try and have date night once a month and we take it in turns to organise it so it’s a little surprise for the other. We’ve managed one weekend away on our own and I did miss Freddie a lot, though I enjoyed not having him stuck to me! The one thing I do miss is going to the cinema as it seems like a waste of a babysitter!
Charlotte, I wouldn’t be afraid of travelling when they are little, nor of all the kit you’ll need to take. Freddie was 5 months when we went abroad the first time and he lived in vests and nappies as it was so hot, all his lovely new clothes came back unworn, we packed bottles of milk into my dad’s golf clubs to keep the weight down and bought a cheaper buggy to take on the plane to stop the iCandy from getting smashed. Staying in a villa was definitely worth it, having a kitchen, microwave and washing machine made it seem like we were at home and if you take your monitor you can sunbathe whilst they are napping. Plus if you don’t feel like going out, you don’t have to as you have everything there! We were nervous about asking parents to come with us but they were delighted to be asked and just wanted to see Freddie experience his first holiday. I’m sure if you asked they would be over the moon to come! Just approach it with the same confidence you do with everything else and you’ll be fine! Hope you get your space in the sun!
Hi Jane, apologies for my tardy response! I think you are right, I’m sure the parents (either set!) would love it. And I think we are going to definitely go down the self catering route, thanks so much for the tips x
I’m super impressed you’ve managed to make the effort for 3 date nights already! Our little boy Max is 6 weeks and we had our first on Monday – took military planning and it didn’t even involve leaving the house! John cooked dinner (a quick but awesome steak and chips) and we had a bottle of red to go with it (following 3 days of expressing beforehand!). Eating at the dining room table with Max sleeping soundly upstairs was a first since he has arrived!
I think the main thing we learned from it was how important nights like this are – it was so lovely to get the chance to spend some quiet time just the two of us. Ok, we mainly talked about Max, but that’s not the point! I was also really impressed at how well Max managed to get himself off to sleep when given the chance – he wasn’t quite gone when dinner was ready but I decided to leave him to it as he was pretty chilled and when we went up to check on him in 5 minutes time, he was sound asleep! What a champ!
That sounds lovely Katy, Mabel did go to sleep last night at 9pm so we managed a few hours to ourselves, you don’t to “go out” to have date night!
It’s our wedding anniversary today and this evening will be spent at home with Mabel, a family date if you will 🙂 x
Wow this puts us to shame… all these creative ways to get holidays and date nights in… we NEVER go anywhere unless a good friend comes round and literally pushes me out the door! We did go out more when Holly (1st) was a baby – I remember our first anniversary meal with a carry cot wedged between us! Generally though I’m rubbish at calling in favours as I tend to save them all for work trips I’ve forgotten about till last minute! I’m also a pathetic worrier and for years have really struggled with the idea of both of us being out of the city at the same time just in case anything happens to us. I’m fine about traveling alone as they would have Joel still and vice versa but both of us?!! We HAD to go to a wedding in Paris a couple of years ago though so I had to get over it. It involved trains, boats and planes so I was completely neurotic at the idea but when the time came I was ok about leaving them and the excitement about a wedding in Paris took over a little bit! Shame I came down with tonsillitis as soon as the plane landed 🙁 We do just miss them when they’re not around though – the nights we do sometimes make it out when my mum requests them for a sleepover and we do feel strange in the house. I dont like walking past their empty bedrooms or even waking up after a lay in to them not being there. Going to get the diary out and book in some nice lunch dates – we’re much better at those!
Amanda I’ve done the same thing – highlighted a few days for lunches, my sister is available more during the day so it makes sense, it’s no less fun just because it’s not evening.
A wedding in Paris sounds amazing! I’m sure I would be the same though – I’m a travel “worrier” in general never mind the baby aspect! x
Definitely go out as much as you can when they are little as everyone says. Its so much easier. (although hindsight is a wonderful thing!) Annie is now nearly 10 months and the crawling means that its now got a little more difficult plus she now really needs to be entertained so its harder to fit everything in. Saying that we do try to carry on with as much normality as possible, we go out for lunch as often as possible on the weekends as a three and I tend to go out with my friends on a week night so that John looks after Annie. (we tag team out the door when he gets home from work!) Date nights are a little more tricky as we don’t have nearby parents but we manage…
Regarding holidays – we went to a place called The Artisan Bakehouse when Annie was about 3 months for three nights which was lovely. Its essentially self catering but the owners can cook a two course meal for you and bring it to your accommodation in the evening. The food was amazing… I think you would like it Charlotte…
We’ve also just been to Mallorca (Puerto de Soller) with the grandparents which was lovely. Totally do-able with four of you on the plane! We flew Easyjet and because of baggage allowance I pre-ordered a tub of formula and nappies from Boots after security and then just picked them up and carried them on the plane so you dont have to worry about baggage allowance. It worked out really well.
We stayed in a lovely villa however because Annie is now eating and crawling I did think it might have been easier to stay in a hotel in some ways as the constant tidying up was a bit of a pain and the thought of taking her to the breakfast buffet and to leave them with the mess was quite appealing plus there is maid service and room service! We took her out for a few meals in the evening where she just slept in the pram which was great! I’ve stayed in this hotel a couple of times without Annie and going to give it a go with her next year as its child friendly but still stylish! http://www.esplendidohotel.com/
We are off to a wedding in Menorca next month and staying in a hotel so will keep you posted about that…
A couple of people have recommended Gitcombe estate in Devon if you have children so going to have a look at that too…
Rachie xo
Rachie thanks for the Artisan Bakery tip! will check it out. Funnily enough we discussed Soller, we went there a few years ago and stayed in a beautiful orange grove surrounded villa, the place itself is very “walkable” and family friendly (we actually had dinner one night at the Esplendido!)
Would you mind telling me what villas you booked? will also look into this pre-order from Boots thing, sounds like a super idea. x
So we originally booked this place however they had some structural problems so we couldn’t stay there in the end. (This could be cleared up now though!) and we thought it looked really nice.
http://www.homeaway.co.uk/p1080441
The owner then offered us to stay in this one http://www.homeaway.co.uk/p457344 which is owned by his Uncle. It wasn’t as child friendly because there were lots of steps (although if Mabel isnt crawling then its totally fine) It was stunning and we loved staying there. Its not suitable for the elderly as its up a steep hill and there are a lot of steps up to the property however even Johns dad managed (and he is 70). It was so well equipped and only a short walk to the port and the owners were so friendly. The views are incredible!
Hope that helps
Rachie xo
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