Way back when in November 2012 we featured one of my favourite EVER weddings on our sister site, Rock My Wedding. It was the big day of Jon and Sarah, a super cute affair that was a massive hit with our readers.
I’m unsure exactly how it came about but Sarah and I now follow each other on instagram and I LOVE her feed, her son Sam is only a month younger than Mabel so our Mama journeys are currently very similar, plus her images are just beautiful.
I thought it would be interesting, useful and just something a little bit different to share Sarah’s adventures in Motherhood today rather than my own, for me personally it’s so lovely to see the “next chapter” of someone’s life that you’ve shared an insight to.
You’ll see a few snippets of Sam’s gorgeous nursery in the slider above, do let me know if you’d like us to do a full feature in the comments box below as well as any questions or advice requirements you may have for Sarah, I’m sure she’d be more than happy to help!
Sarah, Sam’s Mama: Five months have passed since Sam arrived, but we first laid eyes on him last year as a teeny bean inside my belly. This miniscule person has accelerated time, and yet it seems like we’ve never been without his cheeky grin.
I don’t know if there was a moment we felt ready. I’ve wanted a baby since I was a chubby toddler plodding behind a dolly pram. Some girls dream of being a pop-star; for me it was motherhood. But still, making that decision to allow the birds and the bees to do their bit was a nervous leap of life-changingness.
We’d been married a year when we decided to give it a go. It had been an exceptionally difficult twelve months for various reasons. Our nights out had dwindled and we were rapidly becoming homebodies. Somehow I had swapped hangovers for handmade spring rolls. Priorities changed; we enjoyed making the most of our weekends together, going for walks and making plans.
I was incredibly lucky to fall pregnant immediately, which took us by surprise. It was the most excited and nervous I’ve ever felt. We’d just sold our one-bedroom flat in preparation for somewhere bigger and were living with my parents (eek!). It took five positive pee-sticks before I allowed myself any confidence in the answer (and to be honest I’m not even sure I believe it now). In my childhood bedroom, my head was on J’s shoulder. We were squeezing hands and occasionally peeling away to peek at the emerging line, hearts pounding. It’s a pretty rare feeling for time to stop still like that whilst you balance in limbo between two chapters of your life.
We were simultaneously walking on air and slightly petrified. I’m a freelance graphic designer (no maternity packet or guaranteed income after), a worrier (consistently throughout the pregnancy as Sammy was not a mover) and still look about fifteen (I’m at least double that). I’m also rubbish at making decisions, of which there were quite a few. Finding out the gender was one. In the end we were so indecisive that we asked the sonographer to put it in an envelope – it stayed sealed until he was a week old. Then there’s the name. That’s a toughie. So many were tossed around whilst we prepared our nest in gallons of white emulsion and devoured the entirety of Breaking Bad (Walter Weston could’ve actually made it onto the birth certificate). Every decision was so full of excitement and wonder; it’s all we could talk about.
It feels like an incredible blur. How we got from the two of us, to a little family baffles me. I write this in a sleep-deprived fog that has become the norm after five months plus of broken nights. It’s a constant puzzle. For the first month, getting out the door was a military operation. Once we’d successfully packed up half our home to go to the supermarket, Sam would explode his nappy. Every time. The fresh little Zara outfit I’d carefully picked out would then get drenched in sick. Not to mention our own clothes and the floor that hadn’t been cleaned since the maternity nesting frenzy. Running back up the stairs is no simple task post-labour and neither is removing the little bundle from the warmth of your chest so you can tie your laces (slip-ons soon become the way forward).
That’s the beauty of it though. Those first few weeks pinned to the bed, are a hazy cocoon of cuddles and love like you’ve never felt before. Completely smitten, you spend hour after hour smelling their sweet head in the crook of your neck, discussing whether their cheeks are softer than marshmallows and comparing videos of them sleeping (whilst they are sleeping in front of you). My mum will always remind me of one text she received two weeks in– ‘He’s even got tiny elbows!!’.
My phone has been a lifeline. From finding out how to deal with an overenthusiastic milk supply spraying the walls, to frantically Googling images of nappy consistency. I’ve become even more of an Instagram junkie, with its amazing community of like-minded mothers and my photo-a-day challenge keeping me sane. Don’t get me started on the wonders of Amazon Prime and the white noise App.
Once upon a time I swore I’d never step foot in a baby music class and now it’s become the highlight of my week. It’s never just me anymore. The first time I went out alone, I felt utterly naked. New parenthood has come complete with slapstick hilarity, joy, frayed tempers and moments when all three of us have collapsed in tears of elation and exhaustion. I haven’t gone completely to pot, I’ve made sure that I wear eyeliner daily and attempt to look half decent within the confounds of nursing-wear (for crying out loud please can somebody design some un-mumsy breastfeeding clothes).
There are days when you think you’re doing it all wrong, where every book, person and Google answer tells you something different. However, those days (even Mondays) begin with a great big smile from a little sidekick who thinks you’re the funniest, coolest and prettiest person in the world. Boy is he a charmer. He’s also a mini Jon, and seeing them together makes me melt entirely. Every day I wish that there was a pause button.
The worries were all unfounded. Things fall into place and being Sammy’s mama has given me a new sense of purpose. I’ve discovered a contentedness and confidence I’ve never had before and we are currently having lots of fun planning a range of baby products to be launched early next year. As cheesy as it is, he’s made me who I want to be.