The inevitable lack of spontaneity once you have a baby was one of the more difficult obstacles James and I had to consider, discuss and come to terms with during the months we were awaiting Mabel’s imminent arrival.
“How trivial!”… some of you may well be thinking, and yes, in the grand scheme of things and more than nine months down the parenting line I might be be tempted to agree with you. But then it depends on the individuals, your previous lifestyle, your desires and your career responsibilities. Being able to drop everything last minute is a pre-requisite in my job, it always has been. For the most part this has obviously had to change, meetings get scheduled as far in advance as possible, the team take advantage of press trips/product launches and some events simply don’t get attended. I’m a mother, my daughter’s needs comes first.
Last Monday we were invited to Rome by a new client of Rock My Wedding, the trip was that Thursday to the Saturday. I didn’t even consider I would go, not only was it too long a period to spend away from Mabel, there was no way on earth I could organise the logistics in time.
I have never been to Rome. I have always wanted to go to Rome. After much consideration I broached the subject with James. Without boring you with the details he wanted to see his family in Cheshire and Mabel hadn’t seen her Granny since Christmas, he suggested that they go together for a few days whilst I was in Italy.
The trip was super, a complete whirlwind but amazing for networking and on reflection, a good opportunity for Adam and I to be able to spend a few hours simply discussing the future of the business. Whilst sitting outside (it was 16 degrees in January!) we planned the next three big projects over coffee and posh amaretto flavoured biscuits.
Sometimes you need to simply go someplace else in order to be truly inspired I guess.
I won’t fib, the last day, which mostly consisted of travelling was tough. It felt too long to leave my baby, there were times I felt quite bereft – missing her can make me feel physically unwell at times. But I don’t regret going. Opportunities like that don’t come around very often.
I think it’s important to still be spontaneous every once in a while. But secretly? I’m thoroughly enjoying being a complete homebody that makes beef stew in a slow cooker and watches endless box sets. In fact, I’ve never been happier.
How have you lovely lot dealt with the lack of spontaneity?
Is there a limit to how much time you can spend away from your littles? Two overnight stays in a row for me is my absolute limit at the moment, I think it’ll be a long time before I attempt it again.
*Did I say coffee with the posh biscuits? There may have also been a few glasses of wine… Hence the spinning around/dancing like an odd flailing tree in image 2. Ahem.
I haven’t done longer than 2 nights either, I find that on day 2 I am really impatient to see my son. to a certain extent I can be quite spontaneous as I am home with him full time now, so we can do/go wherever we like. During the summer if the weather was nice we would go for an early bar meal with a toddler in tow where we used to go for cocktails on a roof terrace. I think you can still be spontaneous you just do different things!
That’s true Kathryn, we do different things to what we used to – earlier and with a lot more luggage 🙂
I never really experienced the “stay at home” thing for long but yes, I had never thought about it in that way with regards doing what you like in the day x
Love Rome!!! So jealous! Bronwen is now 3 months old and I still have not been able to leave her overnight. She has an op at Birmingham children’s in 2 weeks, so don’t think that will help the process in any way! Thinking Easter I might be brave enough?!
Rhiannon I do so hope the op is a huge success, I’m sure it will be! I didn’t really start leaving Mabel for any period of time until after 3 months, and then to be honest it was really hard, even just for one night x
Thank you Charlotte! We are a very nervous household here!
They still seem so little at 3 months don’t they? We’ve booked a couple of holidays with baby this yr but would love a night away with hubby and be a little more spontaneous!
This is a total aside to the main thrust of this post – which was great, its nice to hear about your journey with Mabel, I just don’t have kids yet! – me and hubby are planning a trip to Italy with our final stop being Rome…will there be a weekend in Rome post?? We’ve never been and some tips would be much appreciated 🙂
PS. Mabel is totes cute! Those cheeks 😀
Hi Annie! We’ll see what we can do certainly, it wasn’t necessarily a “weekend in Rome” trip as such as it was an industry event but let me have a think and a look at the pictures we’ve got! x
I’m not sure I was ever actually that spontaneous! I like to know when and where I’m going mainly as I’m extremely indecisive and so have to have time to make my mind up on things! I find it too difficult to match outings with 2 small ones routines that I have a small window of opportunity in the morning in which to get out and about. Its great now the littlest has dropped her morning nap as can get out earlier but now have to be back for 12 for her lunchtime sleep and then bigger one never wants to come home. Trying to get out without them involves organising babysitters/grandparents and have just realised that we haven’t been away just the two of them since Molly was little so over 2 years. Eek! Think a weekend away is required immediately (quickly typing email to hubby to advise him of such matters!) xx
Before Mabel James and I were quite used to just deciding to go away for the weekend – I used to subscribe to a few of those last minute deal type emails which often offered quite nice hotels in slightly unusual places. Now there is so much more to consider when we pick a place to go! x
My baby happens to be of the four legged, furry variety but I still miss her loads when we go away. I hate to think what it would feel like to leave a baby even just for a few days, I would be a nerve wreck. Even though we don’t have the responsibility of a child it can still be difficult to be spontaneous and just up and go. Enjoy the chance to get away while you can – all work and no play..!
Quite Claire! I’ll make sure I do!
Rome is amazing Charlotte, hope you had an amazing time! Edie is 4 months old now and we’ve not yet left her overnight! This is about to change though as I’m the big 3-0 and the end of the month and my hubby has arranged a super lovely weekend away. Edie is staying the night with my brother and his wife, who though love Edie to bits, they’ve no kids of their own! Is it wrong that though I’m looking forward to some time with my Husband, I’m super nervous about leaving Edie! I know she’ll be totally fine, but I can’t help it!! I know, I need to get a grip!! Edie is currently lusting after Mabel’s wardrobe, you’ve got a mini style icon there.x x
Danielle, the first night I left Mabel was hellish, I didn’t sleep a wink! I certainly didn’t get a grip 🙂
Thanks for the compliments on Mabel’s wardrobe, I do love buying her clothes – much more exciting than buying for me at the moment! x
This is an interesting post, as someone who is 3 months pregnant I’m trying to be super spontaneous now whilst I can even though I’m exhausted! We live in London so there’s always something on, and I’m determined to say yes to it all. I don’t know if you found some people treated you a bit like you were sick when you were pregnant? But for instance my husband got invited out and I got ‘I’m sure you won’t want to come’, erm yes I do please before I have a little person I consider! So I’ve told all of my friends, invite me to everything until I’m due and I will try and say yes.
This said it is really good to see a weekend away is achievable post baby. I am obviously very excited about the things we can do as a three but it’s nice to know it’s ok to have a little time as a two or even a weekend with girlfriends in the future!
Congratulations Anna (if I haven’t already said so) I’ve actually got a girls night planned for a few weeks time – can’t wait!
I did pretty much everything social wise whilst pregnant, I just had to go home that little bit earlier (or sit down more often!) x
The longest I’ve been away from Frankie was in August – Mon – Friday. I was in NY launching our new brand and I was in a whirlwind of meetings and NYC and just general loveliness. But when I went to bed at night I bloody missed my nutter of a 2 year old. But, the massive hug and “that’s my Mummy” I got when I picked her up from nursery made up for it.
It also gave her some great time with her Dad and my parents, and I think it’s not necessarily a bad thing that she sees Mummy not being Mummy for a bit (not that she understands that but you know what I mean)
x
Hi Holly
Yes I know exactly what you mean, Mabel’s not quite old enough yet but I hope in the future she likes the “work” version of me – or at least appreciates I have to go x
Last week-end we had our first “couple week-end” without the babies in a year. I had been asking for it rather insistently over the last few months and even though we ended up dreading passing in front of their room and seeing it empty, being back into spontaneity mode was refreshing. We felt like we were 20 again (we’re kind of far from it…). In the end, it may be difficult to take the first step, but being able to be spontaneous, improvising (and catching up on sleep!!!!!) helped us enjoy our kids in much better spirits and with renewed energy and happy anticipation. So, I got to the conclusion that short separations are a necessary step to living together, not to mention that they are also part of the kids’ growing up cycle too, or so I believe. I’ll keep on reading further comments about this topic with great interest, as you can imagine! All best to the team (and a hug to lovely Mabel)!