As I write this, I’m sitting in the airport alone. ALONE. No child to herd away from the toy section, no inevitably slinging a Trunki over my shoulder, no plotting toilet timings and best of all… No need to constantly entertain a small person.
I have a cup of tea and I’m gloriously people watching for an hour before my flight. I could almost stay right here for three days and be content. The reason I’m jetting off solo is that a friend is hosting a weekend long women’s retreat at her house. Complete with yoga, meditation and of course, a hot tub. Being rather heavily pregnant I debated about whether or not to make the trip, but Gavin’s words of wisdom gave me the push “Darlin, you’re about to become a mother of two and the new baby is going to be attached to you for at least a year. I think you should go.”
As I booked my flights, a touch of the good old Mama Guilt hit me about leaving my brood for three whole days. So in a last minute snap decision we had little a word with the very helpful concierge who managed to book us a last minute whistle stop tour of the sites in a vintage Citroen 2CV complete with private chauffeur, A lifestyle management agency can make a luxury life much easier to live for your trip. I went on a trip to Prague for five days back in December and whilst I had a ball, by the end of it, I missed my boys sorely. After giving myself a good talking to and realising the rarity of the opportunity, I have (mostly) shaken off said case of the guilts and I’m basking in the solo travel life.
When Ethan was just born, a dear friend of mine at the time gave me some health and wellness coaching. She convinced me that for one night a week, I was to put baby to bed and focus on doing something purely pleasurable for myself (that didn’t involve slumping exhausted in front of the TV next to Gavin looking longingly at each other but unable to communicate, like a couple of beached seals). Fancy chocolates, a great book, eating dinner alfresco. Something that would make me feel like myself again amongst the new motherhood haze. Together, my friend and I chose Wednesday nights and nicknamed it ‘Midweek Me Time’. Each Wednesday for a while thereafter, I would receive a text from my friend reminding me of my commitment to myself.
So I sit here indulging in some serious me time and thinking of that friend. With Ethan being four now, me time is a little easier to come by, although still considered a luxury. But I know that’s all going to change real soon with baby number two.
There’s something that happened when I scrambled my DNA with my husband and create these little marvellous beings. A part of me became (whining voice optional) “Muuuuuummmmm”. And while that part doesn’t want to be anywhere else in this world… The other part of me, the one who wore leather jackets, carried a handbag without snacks and wipes in it, felt sexy on a dance floor and could burn both money and time like it was nothing… She’s still a little bit lost about what her place is in all of this.
Like most things, it’s all temporary. And there is something wonderful about the glow I get from alone time now, compared to how flippantly I treated it before kids. I mean, what did I do with all that time?!
If any of you are stuck in the glorious, frustrating, hilarious, exhausting tango of family life, do you have any Me Time scheduled to look forward to?
How do you fit in time to just be yourself?
A soak in the bath is my relaxation. A cuppa (or gin), chocolate bar, good book and gorgeous smelling bubbles for an hour is bliss. Just make sure everyone else in the house has been for a wee before you run the bath – no reason for interruptions then!
Also, I have embraced my inner granny with cross stitch. I used to love it as a child and now I find it really easy to listen to a book on audible or catch up on Eastenders while stitching away.
I hope you have a relaxing break!
Claire I’m about to run a bath right this second! It is very stereotypical but I do love them. I’ve never tried my hand at crossstitch, but always wanted to have ‘a craft’ I was into.
Ahh, me time. How the notion of this changes once you have kids! I haven’t yet managed to spend any nights away from my two year old as he’s still boobing, but I do get weekend lie-ins when my husband takes Bug downstairs at around 7:30-8am and I stay in bed. Sometimes until 10:30. It’s completely epic and awesome – whereas I used to take lie ins for granted. I LOVE sleep so honestly I’d take lie ins over nice jewellery or a bag.
Enjoy your retreat, sounds lovely!
Those lie ins sound like absolute bliss Kate! 😍
Naomi the retreat sounds fantastic, that and having a cup of tea in peace 😂 I really resonate with the piece of advice your friend gave you about having an evening for yourself. That’s something I’ve really been trying to do oncce a week, a bath and book or podcast or enjoying a potter in the garden.
Hope you enjoyed your time away. I’d love to hear more about this retreat. It’s something I’ve always fancied doing. x
Oh Ella the retreat was amazing. A very thoughtful friend just hosted it at her house and invited a bunch of women to get together. So special.
Running! I have one of the #thismumruns Headspace vests and at least two evenings a week I put tea on the table, get my kit on and hand over the teatime bathtime shenanigans to my husband. Just being outdoors washes away the day and I always see something cool- a heron in the stream, deer grazing in the dusky light. I love it!
That sounds gorgeous Lucy! I used to run before pregnancy. Hoping to get back that after bubs born.
“A part of me became (whining voice optional) “Muuuuuummmmm”. And while that part doesn’t want to be anywhere else in this world… The other part of me, the one who wore leather jackets, carried a handbag without snacks and wipes in it, felt sexy on a dance floor and could burn both money and time like it was nothing… She’s still a little bit lost about what her place is in all of this.”
SPOT ON!!! This is such a good idea, thank you.
Glad you liked it Emma ☺️
A few years after having my first baby I was really struggling with feeling overwhelmed and like I had lost myself. My sister and I agreed to meet once a week and declared it Sister Thursday to walk around a shopping centre or go for dinner or to the cinema. Now we have a 2nd child and its even more important. My husband organizes dinner and puts the kids to bed. Its never anything exciting but boy, does the anticipation keep me going all week!