This past four weeks or so has been like a roller coaster ride, we’ve had some of the most exciting and major developments ever at Rock My Ltd (more on work related stuff coming next Monday – I’ll try and make it interesting, promise), my daughter turned one, and I think we may have found our dream family home.
It’s been emotional. Ahem. I say this ever so slightly tongue in cheek – it’s all good. But I’m ruddy exhausted. The shadows underneath my eyes are really quite something, think blue/purple ombre but not in a pretty way.
Thought I would share with you the major changes that have happened since I became a Mama. You’re welcome. Please please share yours in the comments box below.
Major Change number one – The Constant Worry
I swear to God my frown lines have become significantly deeper in the last 12 months. I think about Mabel nearly all of the time when I’m not with her. I try my best think happy, joyful, pleasant thoughts….but most of the time I’m just worried.
*I hope she’s not too hot/cold, I hope she’s having a lovely time at nursery and doesn’t miss me too much (but I want her to miss me a little bit) I hope she’s not hungry/tired/bored, I hope she’s not unwell, I hope those stripy leggings she’s wearing aren’t too tight, I hope she knows how much I miss her*…and so it goes on.
Major Change number two – The Constant Guilt
See above. Only times by 100.
Major Change number three – You Learn To Juggle
James and I should join the circus, so skilled have we become at juggling endless balls. Admittedly we drop one (or two) from time to time – but hey, no-one’s perfect. I have never been so organised it my entire life, hell I’ve had to be. Regardless, It’s really very liberating.
Major Change number four – You Become Less Selfish
James and I have always been quite spontaneous in that we don’t plan much in advance – we’ve always done exactly what we fancy when we fancy. That goes for holidays, nights out and weekends away. Now we both have perfectly updated calendars on our phones so we can not only juggle more effectively (see above) but we can also make sure we spend time together just the two of us, as well as making sure we have some time to ourselves and to spend with our respective friends – i.e. we share babystitting duty fairly equally.
And no matter what we want to do, Mabel always comes first. Always.
Major Change Number Five – Getting Dressed Is A Mission
I have to think about clothes that are practical, yet I don’t want to look frumpy or drab. I have to dress for my slightly changed body shape post-pregnancy, yet I don’t want to look frumpy or drab. As I write this I am wearing my Sweaty Betty dance pants and a slogan T (kind of my “uniform” at the moment). My dance pants have Heinz biscotti crushed into the seam of the right leg and my T-shirt has the remnants of a bowl of cocoa pops down the front (I was trying to eat them, Mabel decided she would like to climb on my lap and the cocoa pops were simply in the way.)
Pre Mabel I am quite sure I had fairly frequent “I have nothing to wear!” days. Now I have them nearly every day. I have recently treated myself to some cute clothes – they are just not baby appropriate.
Major Change Number Six – The Pride Is Big. HUGE.
I have done things I’m super proud of. And some stuff that well…not so much. But I look at my daughter and I can’t believe that we have created such a beautiful, tiny perfect human.
She is by far my greatest achievement.
Major Change Number Seven – The Love Is Big. HUGE. GIGANTIC.
I love my daughter to the ends of the earth, much further than the moon, to infinity and back again. Sometimes I can’t breathe for the sheer enormity of it. It feels like Christmas and birthdays, picnics on the beach, permanent sunshine and an endless supply of all of the make-up on every single counter of Selfridges all at once….every. single. day.
I wouldn’t change a thing.
Have an awesome Monday all.