It’s nearly August and we haven’t mentioned Fake Tan, how can that be? I guess it’s because due to Miranda’s exotic travels she has a seemingly all-year-round glow (yes, completely unfair) Lauren with her alleged uncooked baguettes is actually allergic to the main skin-changing-colour chemical Dihydroxyacetone (that’s got to be really annoying) so I guess that leaves just me. And this is the first summer where frankly, covering myself in biscuit scented goop has never been less appealing, I just don’t have the bloody time for all the associated faff.

I say faff, I’ve actually got my application down to a fine art. I simply exfoliate the evening before and apply body lotion (I am currently favouring Soap & Glory Smoothie Star Breakfast Scrub followed by The Body Shop Coconut butter) and then the following day I simply shower and don’t do/apply anything – just the tanner lotion. I used to find any kind of direct pre-product would make the results patchy, I figured it was because whatever it was that was “left” on my skin was having an adverse effect.

Last year I was very much into Dove gradual tanner, in fact it’s really only gradual tanners I use. I’m fair skinned with almost white blonde hair so a mahogany hue would look plain wrong – I like to be able to “build” up to a suitable shade of golden. Due to my current post-pregnancy body shape I’m not about to throw on a bikini anytime soon and to be honest, holidays were the main time I would consider faking it – I’ve mentioned on more than one occasion, being pale doesn’t bother me particularly.

However, I was on my weekly trip to Boots and there was a 3 for 2 offer on Palmer’s Cocoa Butter range, I picked up my regular stretch mark massage lotion (for the record I don’t have stretch marks, it’s simply a lovely body moisturiser) and after recalling a reader mentioned the brand’s “Natural Bronze” gradual tanner was pretty awesome I decided to give it a whirl. It was after all kind of free. And even if it wasn’t it’s still under a fiver which makes it budget friendly too.

Oh my. I was SUPER impressed with the results. It might just be the best fake tan I have ever used. No dryness, no blotchy bits, and to top it off the colour was amazing, definitely swaying towards a bone fide one-go tanner rather than gradual but not quite. The rich few-days-at-beach shade meant I didn’t feel the need to apply it again at all which is a huge plus for me.

I’ve used the product on four different occasions now which I felt was adequate in order for me to give a review and every single time I’ve achieved great results. It’s lush. I love it.

There is one negative I must point out – it still gives off a rather unpleasant smell, much like stale hobnobs. Your ben linen will then also be scented with a rather off-putting aroma until you bung it in the wash. I don’t see how this issue will ever be resolved, unless they discover an alternative epidermis darkening chemical of course. Let’s hope they do for Lauren’s sake eh?

What fake tan would you recommend folks?

Any fail safe application techniques you care to share?