One of my best girls is getting married in September and the three other bridesmaids and I are in the final throes of hen party planning for this weekend’s festivities. As seems to be customary these days, each hen will receive a relationship advice card to scribe their wisdom for the bride-to-be.
I’m not sure about you but I always end up writing the same thing when I end up in this situation. I pass on the advice my parents gave to me; always remember to communicate and to compromise.
I reckon James and I do a pretty good job of communicating with one another unless you count last week. Our alarms had just gone off and I started to talk about what we were going to have for dinner that night, as you do. Turns out he’d told me repeatedly he was going to be away for two nights with work but it seems I had ignored him. Oh dear.
On the compromise front, there’s a big debate in the Coleman household about which one of our impractical cars will be trading in for a more family-friendly vehicle. We’ve both held our ground so far but if I’m honest I’m not that fussed. I felt I had a strong argument but so does he. So far we haven’t had any meltdowns so it makes sense for me to compromise here so if there’s something I truly have an opinion on then he’s more likely to sway. Pick your battles I say.
I have to say I do think conflict and its resolution is important in a relationship. I have known couples who are extremely proud of the fact they never argue, only to split up as neither of them could decipher how the other was feeling. Personally, I believe if you respect and trust the other party and don’t utter words you’ll regret, that it’s important to speak your mind. Otherwise how else will the other person know what is important to you?
I’m trying to think of some hideously inappropriate relationship advice I’ve been given in the past. Nothing springs to mind to be honest but when I was going through our wedding guestbook postcards someone had told us never go to bed on an argument. I’m in two minds about this one. I always think a good night’s kip does wonders for changing perspective, rather than bleating on to each other when you’re knackered, or worse, had a night on the gin.
In the end though it’s different strokes for different folks and what works for one couple might not work for another. My mum and dad’s adage though seems to apply well to work and play so that’s the one I’ll keep dishing out.
What’s the best relationship advice you ever received? And what’s the worst too? With hindsight is there any advice you wish you hadn’t given to a friend?