Moses Basket Pin Image

Naomi’s Pregnancy Journal: Third Trimester

Author: Naomi Liddell

Slight change to the schedule this morning! Family taking the early spot and we’ll hopefully have style for you this afternoon!

Folks, I am officially on maternity leave! Break out the trumpets (and the chocolate). You’ll still see me hanging around here, but I have officially wrapped up my part-time marketing gig for the next nine months. I stopped at 36 weeks pregnant and man was I ready… Desk jobs and the third trimester just didn’t go well with me and the ole pelvis pain.

I’m now 37 weeks pregnant which feels like a milestone because most babies born from this stage forward don’t need medical support. Although I will admit that I am kind of wishing away the rest of the pregnancy. I’m just eager to meet our little peach and also a bit fed up of heartburn, night time leg cramps (the pain!) and lugging myself around in a waddling manner.

We’ve booked in for a RCS (repeat caesarean section) at the end of the month. So with two and a bit weeks left of this pregnancy I thought I’d chat about the things currently on my mind.

Hospital Bag

I’ve still not properly packed this. I know, I know, I’m a hot mess. But the older I get, the more I dislike packing and this time is no different. I have made a list using this post which has been super helpful (although I’ve adapted it slightly for a c-section stay) and I think I’ve bought most things. I just need to get it all organised and into a bag. I’m pretty sure my bag was fully packed at 32 weeks with Ethan, so I must be feeling more relaxed this time.

Boy or Girl?

Honestly, aside from hearing that healthy newborn first cry (oh God I’m welling up just thinking of it) and hoping that all is well, the main thing taking up my thoughts is whether or not I’ll have a son or a daughter. I genuinely feel delighted at the thought of both. But not one single person around me has guessed a boy. All I hear from everyone is ‘girl’. I’m not sure if this is just because people are hoping I’ll have one of each, or if there’s something in it. But if it’s a boy, I think I’ll be quite surprised. My gut tells me girl, so watch this space.

Postnatal Anxiety

After I had Ethan, the baby blues didn’t quite go away after day four. I struggled with bouts of postnatal anxiety for most of that first year. Sleep deprivation and the lifestyle change of being a parent left me on a jangly nerve and I did find that whole experience hard. Naturally, there’s a little worry there that this time will be the same and that the dread will creep in once baby is born. I know that having a cry or a panic attack in front of a 4 year old is not a option this time so I’m placing my hope on the fact that I’m more aware and objective about my emotions and thoughts. I’m also better at tackling the dread with breathing techniques and recognise that fresh air and exercise are the two best cures I have in my tool belt. I’ll be honest about how this unfolds after baby, although I’m very much hoping it doesn’t.

From One to Two

The amount of people who have told me that having one is a breeze compared to two, has me a little nervous. I’m a bit unsure of how routines, attention and behaviour management is going to go with two. For instance, last night Ethan had a full on meltdown over getting a bath (the child is a soap dodger). This rarely happens these days, but he was particularly worked up and it took quite a lot of willpower from Gavin and I not to lose the rag. However, add a screaming baby into the mix? I feel like my head might explode or I might just start crying too. It’s inevitable that we’ll encounter these moments. And getting out the door in the morning might be hard work too. But I’m hopeful we’ll find a groove. Give me all your tips please. I feel I’ll need them.

Ethan

The love of my life. I’m excited to see him as a big brother. I’ve been showing him some Instastories of people who have had new babies so he can see what newborns are like and every time I’m met with “Awwww! I can’t wait until our baby is here”. He’s such a kind, loving soul. I am also wary that the reality can be a shock to some kids though, so I’m keen to see how it plays out. His little world is going to change soon. But at the moment, I’m just soaking up the time I have alone with him. The time in which he’s my only baby. Before everything changes and our family grows.

I’d love to hear in the comments how you’re chugging along with your pregnancies or newborns? What’s currently on your mind?

{Contributors}
Author
Naomi can’t decide which she loves more: adventuring with her boys or being left alone in a luxurious bath with a great book.
Follow Naomi on Instagram @naomiliddell
This post may include affiliate links.

15 thoughts on “Naomi’s Pregnancy Journal: Third Trimester

  1. So exciting!

    I have many thoughts on this subject but the big main one is that after the first few newborn weeks, I didn’t find going from one to two too bad. I was way more chilled about the baby (experience maybe?) and so focused on the toddler that time flew and before I knew it the baby was blowing out the candles on his first birthday cake. I don’t mean that to sound flippant – of course there were challenging times but it was nowhere near as bad as I had feared/‘helpfully’ been told.

    Postnatal mental health wise – I too had some issues (thankfully not severe) the first time and I found that the second time being honest with my health visitor meant that they popped round regularly for a bit longer to check I was ok and also referred me for CBT to get my anxiety in check. It made a world of difference. And like everything, it passed x

    Wishing you lots of luck with the next few weeks x

  2. I’d totally agree. That whole newborn insecurity thing isn’t a thing second time around. The routine will be exactly as it is now and second baby will fall into line. You’ll be getting Ethan ready for something, baby will be in the bouncer and you’ll turn around and he’ll have fallen to sleep (I said he…..hmmmmm…..). That never would have happened first time around. Second babies are just more chilled. It’s the neglect. At least initially more chilled (she says scraping second child from the breakfast bar he’s just managed to scale).

    My other advice would be to manage Ethan. Have the baby in the cot when he visits in hospital so you can cuddle Ethan and lots of reassurance. It’s totally normal for the first one’s sleep to go to complete shit whilst they figure stuff out in their heads. Just go with it….it’s not like you’ll get much sleep anyway.

    My general advice is just go with it generally. The things I found the hardest was the guilt. Had we done the right thing throwing another human in the mix? What if they didn’t get on? Then guilt for even thinking that about our precious second. All totally normal. Feeding was harder. I didn’t enjoy it second time around but felt like I had to crack on because I’d fed the eldest for 18 months and what kind of a mother would I be if I didn’t treat them the same when the reason was my own selfish not wanting to feel like a milk cow again reasons. Again, noooooormal.

    Otherwise same tips apply – everyone that visits takes a photo of YOU with the baby (one of them might be a keeper right?). Get in a supply of paper plates so you don’t have to wash up (paper plates are plastic free right?).

    Basically it’s wonderful. It’s easier because you’re a god damn PRO but so much harder emotionally. Second and last for us so I clung on to everything so much longer. Nursery have been trying to move my almost two year old up a room this week (‘he’s almost two, ready to potty train, knows the alphabet and letters….he’s ready’. Me ‘no, not yet….he’s still such a baby’).

    1. Thanks for the words of reassurance Rebecca. It’s nice to hear that the guilt etc is all normal. Also I have such few photos of Ethan and I together in the early days, I’ll definitely try to get some this time!

  3. The jump from 0-1 is a billion times harder than 1-2. For a start, you don’t have as much time to worry and you give yourself way more slack when it comes to baby grizzling or yelling as when number one needs something they just have to wait! I also found my PNA was much better second time around as I knew what it was and when I started spiralling or having intrusive thoughts I could tell myself this is this, I see it and now you can put it to one side. Knowledge is power, from choosing your planned section to not panicking about cluster feeding. The only wobbles we had were with a definite surge in S misbehaving, thankfully directed at us not P. Good old Janet Lansbury to the rescue. Just seen your Stories with the fan and nesting, enjoy the cupboard destruction! Not long although it seems long xx

    PS my 10p bet is on a wee girlie

    1. Good point about being able to recognise the PNA earlier Lucy. And also just generally being more self aware this time. I keep getting recommended Janet Lansbury, must look her up

  4. Yay for maternity leave Naomi! I feel I could have written this post myself when I was 37 weeks with my second. I wasn’t very organised in terms of hospital bag packing (despite being insanely excited by the prospect the first time around), worried no end about the impact of a second baby and most people told me I was having a boy – which I did. I honestly didn’t care as it would have been lovely for Anna to have a little sister to play with but one of each is equally lovely. What I found the toughest about going from one to two is the lack of time or space to yourself, naps almost never coincided and bedtime routines stretched to two hours. But we did pull through and the little man is now 13 months so I’m sure you’ll be fine too. On the flip side I was so much more confident about my ability to care for my baby and much more inclined to trust my instincts. Anxiety only hit me with the second one. I’ve let it bubble along for way too long before seeking help but it’s amazing what a bit of CBT can achieve. Hopefully you’ll be just fine and you will know what to look out for. Ethan sounds like such a caring little boy, no doubt he will have some wobbles too but they do adapt much better than we give them credit for. We had tantrums over absolutely nothing for the first two weeks but it soon calmed down and whenever in doubt over who should get my attention I used to think the baby won’t remember but Anna probably will. The mum guilt is going to be there no matter what you do so just be easy on yourself and a bit of TV never harmed anyone. Good luck xx

    1. Thanks for the lovely words Kat. I’m kind of bracing myself for the tantrums from Ethan. Or at least a period of unsettlement (is that a word?) in the beginning. I’m glad you sought out the CBT. It really is s godsend. Hope you’re feeling better now xo

  5. I agree with the above 0-1 is way harder than 1-2. I was much more chilled out, the birth was easier as I knew what to expect, and the whole newborn phase seemed to fly by. The hardest thing for me was dealing with a second baby who, like my first, wouldn’t be put down to nap, and trust me I tried, coupled with a cold winter and a three year old who won’t walk anywhere, I seemed to spend a lot of time shushing the three year old while trying to get 30mins nap out of the baby. As with everything though, that phase passed and now I have 2 hours a day to spend with the three year old while the baby naps in her cot. Patience and tolerance are your important tools, and probably the skills I lack then most! Seeing the siblings interact makes everything worthwhile though. Enjoy x

  6. Naomi you had me in tears this morning (I blame the pregnancy hormones). I’m going through all these thoughts preparing for our second. I’m most worried about how my 2.5 year old will cope. The mum guilt had started and bump is not even here yet!

    Hope you have a lovely restful couple of weeks before bumps arrival. Can’t wait to hear your announcement and find out if it’s a boy or girl

  7. I don’t want to be a party pooper or scaremonger but I found 1-2 harder than 0-1. 🙈 I listened to all those people saying 1-2 is a breeze/they slot right in but that was not the case for me. Yes, you don’t have that same fear of ‘oh my god, how do I keep this tiny human alive’ but each baby is different. My second had reflux, refused to drink from a bottle EVER and would only feed in a pitch black room from 4-12 months (I kid you not, I tried making her go cold turkey but she’d rather go hungry), not a good combo when you have a 2.5yr old to entertain too. That plus health issues for my husband at that time left me with depression and anxiety which I’m still dealing with 16months on. Like I said at the beginning, I don’t want to be a scaremonger but the second time around isn’t always as simple as people make out!

    1. Same here Sarah! In my experience 0-1 is very much the lifestyle shock (no matter how prepared you think you are) and the constant fear for the tiny bundle you don’t feel you know how to care for. 1-2 however is just the relentlessness of being needed pretty much 24/7 by one of them or both at the same time. Of course your first newborn needs you 24/7 too but there are breaks, with two however those are much harder to come by. This is not to say that I found caring for my first all that easy but in comparison it was easier. Not trying to scare or worry anyone as it is all worth it and I’m told that 2-3 makes no difference at all 😉

    2. I think you’re right in that it’s inportant to be realistic about it sarah. And about the fact that this next child might not be as ‘easy’ as Ethan was. I think I’ll just be taking it one step at a time. I’m sorry you had such a rough experience. I hope you’re coming out the other side now xo

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *