The bottom line? I’m finding exercising really bloody hard. I’m knackered most of the time and finding time for myself whilst juggling a business and a baby is proving nigh on impossible.
If you read my “regime” post just over a month ago then you would know I was pretty motivated, and I still am – in terms of really wanting to feel good in my summer wardrobe. But this last fortnight I’ve been falling asleep rather than hitting the play button on my Tracy Anderson DVD. Pre-pregnancy two weeks without a workout wouldn’t have made that much difference to the way I looked, but now I find it does – I make what I consider to be five steps forward only to take at least 3 steps backwards again. And I didn’t even have a slice of cake.
I knew it would take investment, in terms of time particularly, and I don’t expect to “snap back” after just 4 months. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit there are days when I find it incredibly frustrating, especially as for the most part, I feel like I’m making a concerted effort. There have been occasions, especially with the recent hot and steamy climate, that I have been close to “I have nothing to wear!!!” type tantrums.
The weight loss aspect isn’t that important, I don’t think what I “weigh” is the key – never have. It’s the lack of tone, and the change in shape that makes me lack confidence. The area above my c-section scar is still very numb and quite swollen too, I guess that has quite a lot to do with the way I’m feeling right now – it’s as if my body doesn’t quite belong to me yet…does that make sense?
I’m trying desperately to prevent this feature into a big old whinge-bag moan – it’s not usually in my nature, honest! I’m just in need of some advice and reassurance – that things do improve, and that perhaps I need to a) have a word with myself b) be patient c) not deny myself the Victoria Sponge
On a more positive note my arms look pretty good (!) lugging Mabel around has it’s benefits. I’ve also noticed a definite change in my skin from cutting right back on gluten, refined sugar and dairy, it’s clearer – and has more of a “glow”.
I am also very much enjoying my Thursday evening pilates class, there is a considerable improvement to the weird thing that happened to my inner thighs already. Hooray.
Are you/did you find returning to your former pre pregnancy self a wee bit difficult? Do you have any advice on some “quick wins” with regards some amazing abdominal transforming moves I could partake in before bed?!
And what the hell do you wear when it’s 29 degrees and all you want to put on is a big baggy jumper?
Firstly you don’t look as bad as you think you look. I was given the best piece of advice by my sister when I was pregnant – it takes 9 months to put that weight on and for your body to adjust for the baby allow your body 9 months to get back into it’s groove. So don’t deny yourself the cake you deserve it for looking after your gorgeous girl. I’ve started buggy exercise classes with my group of mummies and it’s brilliant. Our ‘homework’ is pelvic floor, sit ups 3×15 (slightly different to normal ones), and I do the plank a minute is my aim. As for clothes maxi skirts/dresses or baggy tops with trousers. Good luck 😀 xx
Hi Beth
The plank is definitely a good one, I just have to remember to do it more often! What maxi dresses would you recommend, I have quite a few but they are all rather tight and stretchy – the opposite shape to what I feel like wearing right now! x
Honestly, if I looked as good as you after 4 months I’d be rather pleased!! Mind you I do understand it is all relative to how you were before and what feels comfortable to you. It is so hard finding the time for exercising and healthy eating and a year after my second I’m still not back to where I want to be. Not sure I ever will be at the moment! It took me a long time to actually have the energy and time to do any exercise and I now find that the only real time I can do it is when they are asleep at lunchtime but I fight against needing to get other things done etc etc. By the time they are in bed I’m zapped and when I try to get up early the monkeys also decide to wake up early so I don’t get it done then. You just need to relax a bit as you will find time eventually and the healthy eating is enough for now, honestly. I’m with you on the arms though. Why did I ever think doing all those weights in the gym was worthwhile! All I needed was a chunky one year old! x
Ha ha ha Charlotte I know! my biceps have never been so defined! I just have to remember to also carry her in my right arm as much otherwise I will start to look lopsided 🙂
I hear you on the exercise whilst they are napping thing – I’ve managed it a few times but usually I need to sterilise bottles, put some washing on, give the kitchen a wipedown….empty the dishwasher etc etc by the time that’s all done then Mabel’s awake. x
Hi Charlotte, well I think you look bloody amazing so try not to beat yourself up. I do understand how you feel though, at 7 months post preg I am still trying to get to grips with how much my body has changed, parts are defiantly more wobbly and certain bits do not quite have the oomph that they used to. I have been a big fan of buggy fit classes, quick and easy to do and as a bonus you get to take the little one along. I have just started back at work 4 days a week but am determined to get myself to the gym at least once a week, I love body pump for toning and find body combat great for general fitness. I find going with a friend helps keep me motivated to go when all I want to do is crash on the couch! Keep up the good work all your efforts will pay off. Xx
Hi Louise, Beth above mentioned buggy fit, what buggy do you have? I think I can use mine (Quinny Buzz) but need to invest in a different front wheel?! I don’t want poor Mabel being bumped about too much!
I have never done body pump but friends of mine enjoy it x
A wee note on bodypump…unless you are already quite fit, it’s hellish! I attempted a class a month a go, now, I’m not mega unfit (love bodybalance) but I only managed half way through before I thought I was going to pass out and vomit at the same time! :s I don’t think I’m cut out for ‘hardcore’ fitness.
I would up your general fitness level before attempting bodypump, that would be my advice to anyone! Or if you’re really keen, do the class without the weights to start with – just use the bar. That way you get a feel for the moves without the strain of the weights! (that’s a bit of advice from my mad-fit friend, she was shocked I wasn’t advised this as it was my first class ever).
Hi Charlotte, I have the upper baby vista, but you can use any buggy, as you only push them around doing a power walk, any exercise we did was when we had stopped, i.e lunges, squats, push ups etc. I really enjoyed that fact you were outdoors, fresh air makes all the difference. Xx
Super, thanks Louise, funnily enough one of my NCT friends mentioned a buggy fit class near me today, I’m going to try and go next week x
I can completely sympathise! I’m only 10 weeks post birth but I carried such a big baby (I’m quite small myself) that my stomach wall has totally collapsed which has left me with a nice big wobbly belly where my muscles used to be reasonably toned-ish! I too had a c-section so certain exercises are off limits still but my physio has given me some v good tummy exercises…lying flat and lifting one leg at a time few inches off floor and hold, then lift up and down at 90 degrees angle, then slide up and down- do these on each side with 12 reps, as you breathe out with each leg lift really pull tummy muscles in, then pelvic tilts, and lying on each side lifting and doing scissor movement with each leg. You’re prob doing similar sorts of things in Pilates but she has assured me these will help but did say it could take 16-20 weeks of doing these daily before my tummy improves, maybe mine is just particularly bad though. It is bloody hard finding the time, energy and motivation to exercise post pregnancy. One thing I would say is I was really quite bothered by it but then I became very unwell post delivery, in and out of hospital and the exercises haven’t happened in 2-3 weeks now, all of a sudden it just isn’t important anymore and getting well and allowing my body to heal has to come first. Looking anywhere near how I used to look will have to wait. It is hard though, I think you look fab so there’s no need to worry, the rest will fall into place in time- my nice physio lady said patience is key, patience never has been one of my strengths! Def have a slice of cake as a treat. X
Ha Angela I am the least patient person! your moves do sound pilates-esque, the only issue I find with it is it’s so controlled and slow paced that it’s as if I need to find a whole hour to complete all my moves. I guess that’s OTT though, even 20 minutes is better than nothing.
You absolutely must let your body heal first! I am petite too and Mabel certainly wasn’t – 8lbs 7oz at 39 weeks! and I did feel my stomach went very much “outwards” so those muscles are particularly stretched. x
Charlotte, I have no advice but just wanted to say you look amazing! To look at you I would nerver guess you have had a baby let alone one so recently.
Im newly pregnant and your posts have really inspired me to keep up the exercise and sensible diet whilst prgnant. Your my inspiration!
Thank you for all your pregnancy related posts – they are really informatve and honest. You have given me a taste of what is to come x
Bless you Stacey thanks! in certain clothes I do feel I look relatively normal, it’s summer that I’m struggling with, I took for granted how very little you can actually…wear!
I certainly think I am in half decent shape 16 weeks post pregnancy due to the exercise throughout, I just think I’m terribly impatient! good luck with your 9 months x
Agree on all your pics you look bloody fab! Little treats now and then help with motivation and general happiness I find. I have no post baby tips at all I am just struggling to get to a size I am happy with and agree that gluten free makes me feel tons better! Low sugar is something I keep dabbling with and also exercising a lot! My legs and arms are looking more toned but the middle section needs work. I am sure you will get there but give yourself a break every now and then and do what you can when you can. If you’re falling asleep your body is telling you you need it! By the time you get the figure you’re after it will be only be baby number two time anyway so don’t worry haha!! X
I swear by those simple shift (slightly cocoon-shape) dresses for the summer. After living through 40 degree heat in NYC where you don’t want to wear anything clingy at all I realised these are a godsend. They also happen to be very in fashion right now! And would show off your legs and toned arms. Whistles has a couple of styles at the moment eg
http://www.whistles.com/women/clothing/dresses/twist-back-dress.html?dwvar_twist-back-dress_color=Pale%20Pink
http://www.whistles.com/women/clothing/dresses/vito-stripe-minna-dress.html?dwvar_vito-stripe-minna-dress_color=Blue%2FMulti
It’s definitely a change if you’re used to wearing things cinched around the middle (like me) but in a light fabric they’re so breezy and cool and forgiving it’s definitely worth a try!
These are lovely Anna! Thanks for the recommendations! the pink is lush x
Totally feel your pain regarding what on earth to wear in the heat! I have a wardrobe full of beautiful summer dresses and can’t wear any of them as none are really suitable for Breastfeeding when out & about without pretty much getting naked! (My little Lottie is taking a while to accept a bottle!) The baggy & loose T’s I’m opting for to stay cool in don’t go with any skirts without making me look really frumpy. Gah!
Big whiney post from me but at least you know you’re not alone in your frustrations!
ha ha I actually have been using the word “frump” a lot at myself, what are we like eh?! I’m the same – no tops to go with skirts really. When I was BF it was still chilly so I got away with the baggy jumpers, could you not wear a vest underneath a maxi? and pull the maxi down but lift the vest up? I guess that’s double layering though which might get hot…..I think someone needs to design better post pregnancy clothes never mind maternity!
Hmm I’m willing to give anything a try! Could work! Or at least carry a vest with me to slip on over my head and then do that. Cheers for the idea! x
I would definitely advise Smock dresses. They will go with all of your lovely boots as well as sandles and birks.
I know you’re a teeny tiny, but size up to a Medium and they will be baggy and comfortable but make your gorgeous arms and legs look small but rid you of any ‘I have nothing to wear’ worries.
I was lucky, breastfeeding and regular walks got me back to a 6/8 by 5 months but finishing my degree last year made me stress eat and gain loads of weight!! I say loads, I’m a size 10 but it feels uncomfortable for me. So while I’m trying to figure out looking after my now 3-year-old and excercise for the first time since having her, I’ve been living in Minkpink smock dresses. Free People have gorgeous ones too!
You look great btw xx
Ah yes Free People! I keep meaning to go and check out the range now they are in the UK (I follow them on pinterest)
I’m back to my regular size but everything just looks odd, maybe I can work this smock dress hippy vibe ok though? thanks for the tips 🙂 x
You look amazing and have absolutely no worries about how you look post pregnancy. I think no matter what we do post pregnancy, we all convince ourselves we don’t look or feel quite ourselves every again! I hate saying this and even find it hard to still admit this myself, but you just have to learn and accept our bodies have changed just a little and will never be exactly the same.
I swear by a post pregnancy girdle, which was a great help. Even at this stage just wearing whilst exercising. I was always told sit ups and the plank are the worst exercise to do post pregnancy especially if your core muscles are weak.
I came across something called MUTU, and have to admit it is really helping build my core muscles back up. It’s really worth a read.
Also do not deny yourself the cake once in a while, it helps with your sanity…..lol
Gemma I was going to do a post on girdles – I ordered one from the states, a long story but it worked a treat.
Who told you about sit ups and planks? and how long after pregnancy, I hear/read so many conflicting views it’s enough to drive you a bit doolally 🙂 x
It does make you go doolally reading all these things on the internet about what you should and shouldn’t do. I have read on quite a few web pages and magazines that say sit ups and planks are not good until your core is strengthened, as it can widen the diastasis recti, that’s if you have one.
Take a look at the MUTU (focus) system, it’s great and you only have to do a 15 minute workout each day. Fits in nicely around your motherly duties :0)
They also have a online community on Facebook where you can talk to other mums about these sort of issues regarding our changed physique .
I used the agent provocateur post natel girdle/pants, it was amazing, but I don’t think they sell it anymore.
My friend mentioned those! said they were amazing, maybe we should petition to bring them back?! Definitely going to check out MUTU, 15 minutes I can manage x
It’s probably of no help as it depends where you live, but I ended up walking everywhere after Eden was born, pushing the buggy. I could have driven but in the early days I was just really rubbish with the car seat and struggled with the awkwardness of a 3 door car. So I just walked to the shops, playgroup, the baby clinic, post office, anywhere and everywhere. Also body brushing. I swear by it. I read, maybe 10 years ago, that a few minutes of body brushing per day is the equivalent of a 20 min jog. (I don’t care if it’s true, I’ve chosen to believe it!) Really helps with toning and smoothing skin and you do feel invigorated after.
That sounds great Catherine, I do try and walk as much as I can – I take Mabel round the “block” of a lunchtime if I’m working from home, it’s about 15/20 minutes, I walk at speed too.
What do you use to body brush with? I feel I need to give it a go! x
IM also really struggling to feel back to normal my little boy is 13 weeks and i also had a c section and despite breastfeeding and trying to walk everywhere i can its just not budging. It doesn’t help that we have a barrage of hen dos and weddings to attend and iv struggled to fit in some of my pre-pregnancy dresses although some of it i think is that my chest area has increased in size so dramatically! I feel your pain but hopefully with time we will feel better
Hi Sara, I’m lucky that this year has been practically wedding free, I would really struggle so good for you for giving it a go, have you tried opting for something that flatters your cleavage? if you got it flaunt it!
You’re looking great and everything does more or less fall fall back into place honest (it just doesn’t feel possible at some points). I was extremely fortunate that losing the pregnancy poundage wasn’t really too difficult for me – just plenty of walking with the buggy and running seemed to do the trick. But regaining the muscle tone I’d been so proud of pre-pregnancy however, was a completely different story – that felt like a long hard slog and my body felt alien in the process (which wasn’t great for my confidence). But it did come back in time (I’m talking about months rather than years) and with a lot of hard work three times a week at ‘Boot Camp’ admittedly.
My big problem was, I really struggled with what to wear in that in-between ‘not pregnant but too flabby to be normal’ stage. Pre-pregnancy I’d always been a confident dresser – I could rely on an outfit just feeling right. But my fashion gut instinct seemed to go awry as soon as I left the labour ward. I’d turn up at baby classes looking like I was auditioning for a wannabe extra role Made In Chelsea and my date night attire looks all a bit too Boden-esque. Neither image felt like it was really me.
I put this down to my confused post-pregnancy body image – the busty breastfeeding phase followed by the tricky still not quite there with the belly months. It’s really tough but I would say, it’s important to wear things that make you feel like ‘you’ again as that was for me the biggest stumbling block with my post-birth body confidence.
Good luck!
I think that’s it Laura, I don’t feel like “me”, I’ve looked at clothes I wouldn’t normally choose and thought perhaps I might experiment a bit but I just think it would be a waste of money and effort. Just before I fell pregnant I was really happy with my abs in particular, I had worked hard at pilates and god rid of the muscular “sit up” look I’d had from boring gym workouts for years before hand. Not that I was about to wear a crop top or anything (!) but I have looked longingly at my holiday photos…..they are good motivation though!
Thanks for the reassurance, I just need to be more patient and realistic x
Before I got pregnant I’d just signed up to Sleek Technique, which are really fab ballet inspired online workouts which I found quite easy to squeeze in. You can do live classes through your iPad/laptop or follow the video workouts online. I’m actually really looking forward to picking them up again post-pregnancy, as they’re different enough to be interesting and short enough to squeeze in. Might be worth a look if you fancy mixing it up! x
Thanks so much Emma! *goes off to take a look* x
Charlotte, this is meant in the nicest possible way, but really, give yourself a break! You’ve just (and in the grand scheme of things, *literally* just) done this totally body-altering, amazing, shocking, incredible, horrifying thing – of course you feel differently about your body and of course it looks different.
I totally sympathise with nothing you own looking right on you any more. As someone ten months post my second, the best thing I’ve found is to try and let go of the idea that I’m going to be snake-hipped and small-breasted again any time soon. My hips are literally wider than they used to be, and it’s not fat! Don’t try and dress the way you did before, not yet anyway – it will only highlight all the things you think aren’t “right”. Go somewhere where there’s a personal shopper who has no idea of “your style” and ask them what they’d put you in. What’s your favourite bit of your body right now? Dress to highlight that. (For me that means no high street shopping: crop tops and bodycon are not for me right now and trying them on just makes me depressed!)
But whatever you do, be NICE to yourself. Don’t try and do everything NOW. You might not feel like it, but your hormones will still be all over the shop. Being tired plays havoc with your sanity. Having to leave your gorgeous baby to go to work, even if it’s a job you love – it’s all stress. Being a new mum is hard. So be easy on yourself. Your body will recover. You’ll get your abs back and you’ve got years to show them off 🙂
(Sorry for the super long post, and I really hope I don’t sound patronising! but reading these posts of yours sometimes just makes me want to bring you a cup of tea and a piece of cake.)
Ha ha ha Sam tea and cake would be lovely right now! I wonder if it’s the hormones that is making me slightly mad….and extra impatient. I do try and put things into perspective, it’s not as much I’m that bothered about my body per se (as you say, it’s been pretty amazing) it’s just the lack of suitable clothing, if I had the time I might be tempted to set up my own range…. 🙂
I wonder if I’ll be a crop top wearing Granny? x
I agree with Sam, as above.
You sound like you’re giving yourself a really hard time. The tiny baby stage is over so quickly, I would be trying to make the most of that and give yourself a break!!!
I’ve had two and although it’s hard I think it’s best to accept your body won’t be exactly the same as it was; you’ve done an amazing thing with it!
xxx
Hi Amy! I’m not honest, I just had a mini flap-a-thon every so often…but believe me, I am making the most of my time with Mabel – as best I can anyway. x
I don’t have anything to add really as I haven’t had a baby, but I agree with many of the comments, you look fabulous for having just given birth a few months ago! A friend of mine has also snapped back into shape quickly, but she swears by a combination of 5am horse riding (she has her own horse and is clearly bonkers getting up at that time to ride so her hubby can watch the baby before he goes to work) and breastfeeding. Clearly wouldn’t work for everyone, but I guess it shows that if you have a sport/exercise that you love doing you’re more likely to do it and see great results. In terms of quick workouts, I did Davina’s DVDs a lot to tone up for my wedding. The 20 min routines with light weights really helped me tone up and would be manageable. Walking is also great exercise and sounds like you are doing plenty, so you’ll soon start to feel normal again. Love these posts as it makes you realise how all women have the same insecurities and there’s always great advice in the comments section! x
Thanks for the recommendation M-J, I’ve not tried Davina. The comments section is awesome, it’s where we get a lot of our ideas for posts! x
For me it took a full year before I felt I was starting to look more like me and the exercise I was doing was starting to make a difference (even though I went straight back after my 6 week check up). So be patient! It really does take a long long time and you already look fabulous! In terms of clothes I know for myself mentally I have really changed! I’ve sent so much stuff to the charity shops as I now think it’s far too short and/or fitted. I never realised how skimpy my clothes were! But to be honest I feel quite liberated by it. I’m not as tied down trying to impress/keep up with trends! I look for looser but good quality clothes. The patterned trouser trend right now are great! Comfy and cool and can wear them dressed up or down.
Hi Lucy! I’ve never done skimpy as such – just quite fitted I guess, “baggy” clothes tend to drown me (I have pathetic shoulders) however much I’d love to be able to work the look.. but I do love these patterned trousers! x
9 months on, 9 months off! You look amazing, it takes time, i’m loving pilates for strength at the moment and I am not an fitness kind of gal! It has been great for back strength as the little ones get heavier it helps. Listen to your body, if you need to sleep then do it, its the only time that you will get to do it once she stops napping! Business, housework etc will always be there! big loves and keep on trucking beautiful you are not alone x
Hi Sarah! bless you flower 🙂 pilates is my favourite but it’s very slow and time consuming, I wish I had an hour a day to do it – I’ve been doing a bit before bed most nights but trying to “quick win” with my Tracy Abs workout. I am trying desperately hard to listen to my body – although I fear I would just be asleep most of the time! thanks for the tips peach x
Just a word about the numbness above the scar – I’m two years and eight months on and it’s still numb – my friend is further on than that and ditto. Having read around the subject a lot of people never get full feeling back – and this bit at least is something that no amount of excersize is going to change.
As a side note, having a baby changed the way I dress forever, not even relating to size as I was tubby before and still am – but you just ‘feel’ irrevocably different – and what went before will never feel like it used to. Subtle changes to your wardrobe however will I think make you feel a bundle better. A different cut of dress or a different colour of top even. Above all, be kind to yourself, you’re very beautiful and that’s not changed one iota.
Anne.x
PS-you advised me about BB cream a few week ago – invested in both BB and CC at weekend. Big thanks.x
Charlotte, I use this body brush from the bodyshop http://www.thebodyshop.co.uk/bath-body-care/bath-accessories/long-handled-cactus-bath-brush.aspx?gclid=CIDnwpb17L8CFavHtAodQEQAIQ
I’ve just deleted the dissertation length comment, which has served to be my own therapy session in response to my post pregnancy troubles, so will just say ‘Meh…, I know how you feel.” (But comment thread of advice has been helpful – the ‘give it time’ thing is true)