I’m always intrigued at how others divide up the household chores, (this, and how couples split their finances – it’s truly fascinating). Even if you have a cleaner there’s still a need to whizz round with a hoover and do a spot of tidying.
In the Coleman household I’d say we’ve got a pretty even split. Whilst James does more cooking than me, I am more likely to load up the washing machine. I am constantly amazed how my ridiculously clever and exceptionally technical husband has met his match with our Zanussi. It flummoxes him every time.
After years of disagreements on the ‘correct’ way to stack a dishwasher, we’ve agreed that I will stick to unloading while he has the duty of filling it up. Who knew that sticking a fork in a plastic basket could cause so many arguments?
Several years ago a friend of mine introduced me to the concept of ‘pink and blue’ jobs to differentiate household chores. On first hearing the idea it sounds hideously sexist, however this was not a term used to describe traditionally male and female roles, just a way to determine the distribution of tasks in her own home. In our old house we had a rather nice patch of lawn, mowing this was a pink job whilst getting acquainted with a toilet brush has always been a blue job. Putting out the bins always ends up as blue duty but hoovering is usually a pink one.
We have also recently introduced the 24 hour rule to make sure our house doesn’t resemble a bombsite. Stuff is allowed to be left out for no longer than a day before it is destroyed. Obviously I’m just kidding about the destroying bit as Mr C would have ended up shoeless a long time ago, however we’ve really found it helps us keep on top of all the tidying. One of my dearest friends is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to sprucing things up. As soon as your cup is finished with, it’s whisked away, cleaned and put away in a very discreet blink of the eye. I’m too lazy to operate in such a way but find that tidying up once a day means that all possessions are returned to their rightful homes, and any friends just popping in for a quick cuppa aren’t left trying to find a spare patch of sofa to perch on.
So how does it work in your household? How do you split up the housework with your partner or housemates and keep your home shipshape? Is it one-sided or have you found the right balance?
I do most of the cleaning in my house, all the cooking and the weekly grocery shop. Im also in charge of all finances! My husband takes out the bins, looks after the cars and garden. Some may think I get a raw deal but we are perfectly happy the way things are. He works longer hours than me and has a physically demainding job (Im office based). I’m also extremely house proud and only my way is the right way! In order to keep on top of things, I have a quick tidy up of the house in the morning (make bed, plump cushions, empty dishwasher from the night before, hang washing out) and then another quick tidy in the evening and anything else thats needs to be done, like washing, hoovering, dusting. I find this keeps the house pretty tidy and means I only need to spend an hour or so blitzing it at the weekend.
I hate the weekend clean Stacey, it’s so tedious. Love the idea of only spending an hour or so on it so you can go and enjoy what weekends are actually for! x
I do the hoovering, dusting and cooking. Mr H does the washing, dishes and his own ironing (I rarely bother – if you hang things up the creases usually drop out anyway). In our last house we kind of shared gardening duties.
Your friend reminds me of one of my old work colleagues – she would strategically place things under chairs to make sure her hubby was hovering properly, oh and her pillows had expiry dates written on the labels – I kid you not!! xx
Helen this is hysterical. Expiry dates on pillows?! I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who does that!
It was really peculiar, I was making some scented fabric hearts using some material I had left over and was saying I had to get some stuffing to go inside them. She piped up to tell me her pillows were due to expire and I could use those if I wanted. The checking of strategically placed bits of fluff under chairs to ensure adequate hovering skills came to light at a later date xx
We share the cooking pretty evenly. Whoever gets in first usually does the evening meal because it’s a nice when you get in from a long day to have a hot meal bubbling away. Sometimes this means I’m cooking much more, but other times it’s him that is finishing earlier and cooking up a tasty treat. We have a cleaner (trying not to whisper that anymore after Charlotte’s post on it!) but I would say I’m generally more of a tidier than him. We traded putting out the bins (him) for doing the clothes washing (me). Apparently I am a little OCD on how clothes should be hung on a clothes dryer.are put in ..But socks will never dry if they the row below a jumper! We’re splitting the roles on our house hunt at the moment. He’s in charge of the finances (i.e. getting our mortgage sorted and talking to the constant barrage of mortgage brokers that every estate agents seems to have sold our details) because it suits his skill set (he works in finance), whilst I am in charge of getting viewings sorted because it suits mine (a lot of love for diary management and organisation(!) ). Plus it lets me look at pretty things instead of numbers. Bins and finance vs. washing and pretty numbers is probably a fairly cliched split that isn’t doing feminism any good, but it keeps us happy so it works for us! x
I love it when you get home from a long day and your tea is waiting for you. My southern friends always think I mean a cuppa when I say ‘tea’, I mean dinner!
So true about the socks and jumpers 🙂 x
Haha! I love this! Dinner has always been tea in my eyes!
I used to invite two of my friends over for ‘tea’ and then get very confused when they said they’d already eaten. They thought they were coming round for a drink rather than food!
Sian, I am exactly the same about hanging washing on an airer!! The hubby finds it all very amusing, every time he tries to be helpful and hang it out I go around re-hanging it! Well, he will put 2 (or even 3!!!) T-shirts on one rung of an airer!!! I kid you not!!! And how will socks ever dry if they are still scrunched at!!
hahaha 🙂 x
I’m so glad I’m not the only one Rebecca! xxx
In our house I take care of all the cleaning and washing whilst my husband does all the cooking and takes the rubbish out! We are a bit flexible with it, sometimes I might make tea and he’ll Hoover up but on the whole we stick to our own jobs! We agreed this when we first moved in together 3 years ago and it’s always worked for us because we each play to our own strengths – I’m a rubbish cook and find it boring whereas he enjoys it, I quite enjoy cleaning and washing (well not always but I like the end result!) and he wouldn’t do either job to my standard so it’s best I do it myself!
Fab idea to agree on from the outset, saves on lots of unnecessary arguments!
Me and Mr Corf have a pretty even split I think – we have the deal of whoever does the cooking the other one does the washing up (unfortunately we do not have a dishwasher). I usually cook so the hubby usually washes, but he is a very good cook too. We also have the deal that whoever loads the washing machine the other one hangs out. We usually do the food shop together with the deal being that my husband drags the very sexy granny trolly (we live in London have have to get the bus to the supermarket!) and I put it away (which I am happy with as I can never find anything when he does it!). I am probably more likely to run the hover around and the bathroom is usually my domain but he always does the bins and recycling. One thing I have found is that with the introduction of gadgets my husband has become more willing to clean – I bought a handheld steam cleaner a couple of weeks ago mainly for using in the bathroom. Mr Corf decided he liked the look of it and steam cleaned our whole kitchen on Sunday while I was having a wardrobe sort out (an event that takes me all day and an event that takes him 10 minuets tops!). It has never been so clean!
Those steam cleaner things are very fancy Bryony. My friend has little ones and loves hers as she doesn’t have to use chemicals. Do you know if you can use them on wooden floors?
I must admit to having a very VERY domesticated husband, he is the tidy one, he likens me to a small hurricane, I don’t know how I manage it but I do seem to leave a trail of debris in my wake.
We have a weekly cleaner but yes you are right, there are still all the same chores (plus other chores) that need completing weekly/daily.
I tend to do all of the clothes washing and tidy up after Mabel/make sure all of her paraphernalia is stocked up and whatnot. I also clean the bathroom and cook most of the meals. James tends to clean up after dinner (maybe because I cooked?) and is a machine with the Dyson. He also takes care of the bins and any DIY type jobs.
We are both taking an interest in the garden this year and I even bought myself a new trowel and kneeling pad so I can weed 🙂
I am making a conscious effort to tidy things away every day, it really does make for a nicer environment and calmer existence when you can find everything! x
We are both hideously untidy. My James isn’t like yours! This 24 hour thingy-my-jig has made a big difference though x
We’re a pretty even split across jobs in our household, although I’d probably have to admit that I get the better end of the deal. I handle all of the finances and do the weekly shop online (not setting foot in a supermarket to do the shop in 18 months has been life changing!!), I also do the washing and more often than not the dishwasher.
Mr P is a damn good cook, and also incredibly tidy (I too am a bit like Charlotte with the hurricane analogy); he tends to do most of the evening meals and the bulk of the bigger cleaning jobs (bathrooms, kitchen etc), as well as the garden…
…anything else we tend to share out. Absolutely desperate for a cleaner but can not find one anywhere! No recommendations and not sure whether to go for a national company with regional contacts…
I flipping HATE food shopping Katie! I just can’t even bear the thought of loading up my basket online even though it’s a form of internet shopping.
Speaking of online shopping I ended up on Boohoo this lunchtime thanks you and Charlotte! I don’t mind that type of shopping 🙂
Katie, have you tried Netmums? I found mine on there bizarrely! I say ‘mine’- I’ve used her twice and would like to make it a regular thing but Paul thinks it’s ridiculously decadent and would much rather I did it. Funny that.
I’m definitely the mug in my household! I do all of the cooking (sometimes husband warms things up), I put the toddler to bed 6 nights out of 7, I do all of the laundry but don’t iron, I do all of the hoovering, dusting and scrubbing, and a lot of the tidying too. Husband does the washing up sometimes, and wipes the surfaces down in the kitchen. He normally takes the rubbish out. There are some jobs that he does sometimes, but most of the jobs are exclusively performed by me. He usually baths the baby – while he is doing this I frantically do chores I can’t perform with a toddler clinging to my leg. I work 3 days a week, the other 2 days are pretty full on with my little boy and then we have the weekend and family time! Cleaning is the last thing I want to be doing but I can’t relax until it’s done. And by the time it is done, there is no time to relax! I think I need a cleaner….or my husband needs a kick up the bum! He is one of those that doesn’t do anything unless you tell him to, and I hate having to ask!
I forgot to mention, you know what James asked his Mum for his birthday? (it’s today) … a shark steamer mop thing. Really – in real life. Have you seen the infomercial? James is really excited about how he is going to clean the oven extractor hood later….
I REALLY want a steam cleaner!
Me too Sama!
Ha ha! James asked his Mum for a Henry Hoover a few years ago.
Next time they see each other they’ll be swapping cleaning tips rather than talking about golf x
Me: Tidying, general cleaning, hoovering, washing up, laundry, changing the bed, finances and general ‘managing’, the food shop.
Him: Cooking, cleaning the oven, cleaning the cars (mainly his), bins, taking things to the dump, DIY, heavy lifting.
I definitely do the lion share of the chores, but I do enjoy whimpering and being pathetic when the time is right. (“Can you put my office desk together pleeeease?”)
I do most of the general cleaning and cooking (I blitz the flat on a Saturday morning so it’s out the way!). I’m quite OCD about washing up but I find it strangely relaxing(?!). I quite enjoy cooking, but during the week it’s usually something very quick that can be shoved in the oven or a quick 15min pasta dish.
However, he deals with all the bills (he’s very good at bartering with British Gas when they want to change our rate!) and insurance things (well he does work in insurance so that makes sense!) He also sorts out anything cat-related – feeding them, changing the litter and taking them to the vets. He’ll also do all the ‘deep’ cleaning things I can’t stand – like giving the hob a clean under all the rings and scrubbing the oven! Once I went away for the weekend and came back to find he’d re-painted the lounge and a door! So I guess in the grand scheme of things it all balances out 🙂
Definitely sounds like a fair deal Jo 🙂
I happen to have a husband who is a fantastic cook and he genuinely enjoys it, which suits me down to the ground as I can’t stand it! This does mean that I do the majority of the cleaning, but I don’t mind too much as I have rather high standards! Why is it that crumbs on work surfaces are invisible to men?!
I am a bit of a tidy freak (OK a great big honking, whirling tidying machine) and everything has to be in its place. I’m not sure I could get along with the 24 hour rule – 5 minutes and it is gone! I am of the opinion that bins should be a blue job, but sometimes it is just easier to do it myself rather than keep pestering.
I also do the majority of the gardening, but I love it so it definitely doesn’t feel like a chore. And I deal with most of the finances, which also suits me as I am a bit of a control freak and like to know exactly what we are spending our hard earned pennies on.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who rearranges the washing!!
Hubby also does all of the food shopping. (Lucky me! I love any kind of shopping with the exception of food shopping – it’s so stressful!) We used to go together, but it almost always ended up in an argument – he is very much a grab and go shopper and I am more of a “hmm, which biscuits do I want?” dithery kind of shopper. And it drove him potty! I put all the shopping away though, as hubby will just shove everything into cupboards, whereas it obviously needs to be arranged carefully with the labels facing outwards!
Anna, food shopping is much less stressful when you do it on your own. I usually leave it to him though as apparently I can’t pack bags correctly?!
I wish I could be more like you and tidy as I go but I am far too messy x
I really find it interesting how everyone deals with this type of thing.
My husband and I both work shifts and so it’s quite rare that we end up eating together but when we do my husband tends to cook as he is much better at it than me. I do cook for myself a lot when he’s not here and therefore he misses out on my culinary masterpieces 😉
We either share the food shop (a quick dash around Aldi, as we both hate shopping) or do it online.
I am desperate for a cleaner as cleaning is something that niggles at me and genuinely gives me anxiety, as it can feel so overwhelming to me when things aren’t done. He is worried about inviting an unknown person into our house but our neighbour has one and I think we should just use the same one.
We don’t really DO finances – everything gets taken out of our accounts as a direct debit and so we barely look at them. Is this terrible?!
On the whole I feel like we are pretty equal.
Sounds like a good plan Claire if your neighbour already has a cleaner x
Ok, thinking I perhaps need to trade my husband in for one who can clean and tidy! I don’t think he knows how to operate a washing machine or where the bottle of bleach is kept! I also want to implement your 24 hour rule as I don’t think he would have a single possession left. To give him his dues he has just cooked me tea (and I mean dinner too!) so can’t complain too much. He does do dishwasher duties and is the main gardener planting copious vegetables and flowers (he’s currently pottering in the greenhouse). He has now taken over lawn mowing duties after I gave up last summer – the last time I mowed the lawn I was 8 and a half months pregnant! I wouldn’t say we have an equal balance but after 15 years together I’m used to it now although I remain ever hopeful that he may turn in to a super domesticated husband one day! x
Hooray for more tea eaters! x
Pink and blue division of labour all the way!
Pink = washing, cleaning, 50% cooking, 10% washing up, weekly shopping.
Blue = hoovering, 90% washing up, 50% cooking, maintenance of ICT, and bills, lawn mowering, bin emptying
When I write it down, it seems pretty equal….! I wonder if he sees it that way! X
Hello Ellie!
Love that you are a pink and blue divider too! x
I do pretty much all the chores in our house. Hubby is a farmer so works 7 days a week, and at the moment, his work day starts at 6:30 and he’s home by about 7:30pm at night. A lot of my friends don’t understand or think that he is slacking off, but if I’d worked a 84 hour week, the last thing I’d want to do is come home and cook the tea while my other half is loafing around! in the winter, when his days are slightly shorter, he does the washing up, and is *supposed* to empty the bins, but I usually end up stuffing them so full and he still doesn’t notice. he is also terrible at remembering bin day, and since it’s only fortnightly, I end up putting them out so they don’t sit for a month! I also do the gardening, though I am tempted to pay someone to do it, as I really hate cutting the grass and weeding! It’s a pretty stereotypical farmer’s wife/farmer relationship for us, but it worked for our grandparents and our parents, and so far it is working for us.
Wow, an 84 hour week? I’m not surprised you end up with the lion’s share M-J x
That 24 hour rule is an amazing idea. I’m fed up of finding guitars/guitar type things loafing around and the husband keeps telling me he will murder me with the socks he keeps finding. I do all the cooking, the bathroom, look after the finances and the washing. He does the hovering, the washing up, puts the clothes away and the bins. We divide up the labour based on what were best at and don’t do things we hate doing. There’s a bit of a stale mate on the dusting. We both hate that so neither of us do it.
Love the pillow expiry date haha!
It seems a lot of husbands are the cooks and mine is no exception but his job is in catering and he does use our kitchen for his work so this is his area. Cooking, cleaning up, washing (I do the occasional bit), emptying bins, washing floor etc.
I pretty much do the rest of the flat but some things are done religiously once a week – bathroom clean. Dusting and hoovering – more likely every 2 weeks. I am a tidy freak and hubbie does get annoyed because he “can’t find things” – all your phone/tablet/laptop leads and chargers are in the one drawer I think it’s logical myself. Why he thinks they should live in the fruit bowl is beyond me….
I know Lynn, the pillow thing is a classic!
I’ve just nipped into the kitchen and seen all manner of non-related fruit items in the fruit bowl too. I need to enforce my 24-hour rule! x
There was until recently a prescription, a bottle lid and some receipts. Maybe it would help if there was more fruit in the fruit bowl and then there would be no temptation for him to store odds and ends! haha
Good idea:) I keep finding the lemon squeezer in ours for some reason, I suppose it’s on the fruit theme….
After almost 10 years together (and almost a year married) I can say it is the single thing me and hubby STILL argue about! We just can’t seem to get on the same page – and by that I mean we both go through phases of being tidy AND messy, never at the samne time. So either he is nagging me, or I am nagging him! We just get on with it though – closest we got to sorting ourselves out was “his n hers” washing baskets. We now only do our own washing/ironing/putting away. I would say though, despite our erratic tidying set up, I have never once asked him to make the bed or put the toilet seat (lid included!) down. He came like that already!! Oh and lauren – I too am deeply intrigued by other couples’ finances. How do they do it?!!
Hooray for a man who puts down the seat!
On the finance thing, I haven’t met one other couple who operate in the same way as we do. I even have a friend who used to draw out cash separately from her boyfriend to pay for half of the food shopping bill at the supermarket till. This seems crazy to me but worked for them.