Newborn
Newborn
Six Months
Six Months

And Then There Were Three

Author: Lolly Gautier-Ollerenshaw

Those of you who pop by the blog regularly on a Monday to read the latest adventures of Mabel are perhaps a little surprised this morning to see a baby boy gracing your screens instead. My name is Lolly and I’m the newest member of the Rock My Style team; yep the self same individual responsible for creating the Pineapple board on our Pinterest account. Guilty as charged.

Some of you may already know me however as the previous Editor of Rock My Wedding, a role which has now passed to the very lovely Fern following the birth of my baby Hector which Charlotte touched on in her post here.

Given that Monday seems to be our designated maternity day and that Charlotte is off sunning herself this week in Portugal, she suggested that perhaps I might like to step into the breach and talk about my experiences of being a new mum in her stead.

I’d be lying if I said that there wasn’t a part of me that hasn’t been procrastinating about writing this piece. It’s not so much that I don’t want to share my experiences and thoughts but more that it’s impossible to know where to begin. How on earth do you fit seven months of the most exhilarating, tiring, challenging and awe-inspiring part of your life into a bite size blog post. You can’t as I expect many of you well know.

I will never quite forget the look on the boy’s face when I announced I was pregnant. We hadn’t exactly been ‘trying’ (blame a fancy dress night and bucketloads of gin) and although I knew I wanted kids ‘some day’, for me it never seemed quite like the right time. Perhaps I was scared, scrap that I was bloody terrified. Not so much about the pain/labour side of things but about the overwhelming responsibility and the possibility of ‘getting it wrong’ thus screwing up aforementioned child in the process. As a self-proclaimed perfectionist and a straight A student at school, ‘getting it wrong’ makes me break out in a cold sweat. Ste meanwhile just beamed from ear to ear.

Perhaps, more selfishly, I worried about the impact it would have on my relationship with my husband, on our dynamic duo. The timing wasn’t ideal; we were and still are encamped at my parents’ house whilst our own house refurb continues apace (more on that in future posts). My vision of our first family Christmas as a trio in our own house ended up being a pipe dream and this will always be a regret of mine.

I didn’t enjoy being pregnant (gosh would you listen to me…what a moaning nora!). You’re not supposed to say that but I’d be lying if I said otherwise.  I didn’t get the ‘glow’; instead I had raging heartburn throughout and I gained more weight than I intended to (I blame Green & Blacks). I was also stubbornly determined to not let a drop of alcohol touch my lips despite it being a glorious summer yet all I wanted was gin; ironic given it was this vice that had got me into this situation in the first place.

Hector made his appearance slightly earlier than expected on a rainy Sunday near the beginning of October announcing his arrival with a fierce cry. Mercifully the labour was super quick, yep I was the lady that almost gave birth in the car park – just like you see on One Born Every Minute. What wasn’t so great was doing it without ANY form of pain relief whatsoever – apparently I was too late to the table. That wasn’t in the birth plan. You can guarantee that I bring this up at pretty much every appropriate opportunity.

And then there he was, my perfect boy and within a nanosecond I fell in love.

Ste revealed a whole new side of himself to me; one of eternal love, admiration, pride and unending patience. I’m not sure why this surprised me, after all I married him didn’t I. But I think the depth of his devotion caught me unawares and made me cry pretty much every day for the first two months. Yep every day.

Perhaps more significantly I surprised myself. My ability to function on very little sleep (by god I love my sleep), my passion for steaming and blending every vegetable known to man (I don’t even cook for myself!), my capacity for pain, for endurance and the amount of love I feel for one tiny human being.  Yes it’s tough and yes there are times when I wonder if I/we/us will ever feel normal again but I wouldn’t change it for anything.

Hector is completely and utterly worth it.

So there you have it; the short version. I hope to share the trials and tribulations, the laughter and adventures in more detail over the coming months and to hear your stories too.

{Contributors}
Author
Author: Lolly
Lolly is a self-professed frustrated florist and styling maven with an endless passion for all things pretty.
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73 thoughts on “And Then There Were Three

  1. Ahhhh the bit about your husband made me well up a little – I felt the same when I had my little girl and still do nearly 11 months on. When I was pregnant I didn’t think having a baby would change our relationship but I do think it opens up a new side of you both. Well done you on the super fast labour with no pain relief – I went for a 4 day drawn out affair where I was either permanently attached to a TENS machine or in water! Hoping the next one is a bit speedier! (I’ll probably be that woman giving birth in the car park then because I’ll be far too complacent haha) I totally agree as well about surprising yourself with how you can cope on much less sleep and the endurance and love you have – I think this is the bit that you just can’t prepare yourself for no matter how many people warn you. Lovely post x
    Ps looking forward to your home renovation posts!

    1. Hi Sarah – ahhhh the bit about my husband makes me well up a bit too when I read it. How indulgent is that! But it’s true – he’s a good egg. And four days! Blimey. Well done you – I don’t think I could have coped with that amount of time in labour although I am a bit jealous of the whole pain-relief in water thing – I wanted a water birth but it wasn’t to be. Stay tuned for the first home renovation post in a couple of weeks time!

  2. Ah Lolly, I can almost feel your love exploding off the screen. What a beautiful first piece for RMS – it’s so lovely to see you over here and read your words again.

    I have no stories to share (unfortunately) – just enjoying the read and sending love xxx

    1. You really are such a sweetheart Karen. Thank you doll for your lovely words – they’re very much appreciated xxxx

  3. I love reading these articles and people’s comments but my experience has been a tad different.. My first baby, Juliet, was born almost 2 months ago and I did not feel that immense rush of love you hear so much about. I hate even admitting that.. Whether it was because the quick, actually pleasant labour ended with a rather barbaric forcep delivery of because Juliet was taken to neonatal before I’d even properly held her, I don’t know. That all sounds very dramatic but Juliet displayed signs of infection when she was born

    1. Hi Jennifer – I don’t think it’s uncommon for people to not feel that immense rush of love straight away. I’ve spoken to several people who said they felt it was more of a slow burner, that the love between themselves and their baby grew as time went on and they got to know each other better and better. And I can only imagine that having such a traumatic birth will have had its effects too; I feel immensely for you.
      If it helps at all, when I was pregnant I wasn’t in love with my bump. You hear lots of stories about women feeling super connected with their growing stomach – that wasn’t the case for me. I felt distinctly unnerved by the whole thing – it was only when Hector was born that I felt that connection and the love. We’re all different aren’t we and that’s what makes us interesting. How are you coping now?

      1. Well, what a sign of baby brain. The health visitor knocked on the door – for a planned visit – and I hit post by mistake!

        I wanted to say that she wasn’t in neo natal for long but Juliet’s infection kept us in hospital for 5 nights and they were 5 of the loneliest nights I’ve ever spent. Which is weird considering it was also like living in an airport! When we came home it took a while to recover from this. That, plus the fact that I found breastfeeding really hard meant I found the first four weeks of Juliet’s life quite difficult and the love I feel for her was slow burning. But, as I’ve heard it said, you don’t have an automatic relationship with your baby – that needs to develop and that takes time so other feelings may also take time..

        Now, 8 weeks on, things are much better and I realise that I loved Juliet from the start but it just manifested itself differently. Our current favourite activity is to look at each other and pull funny faces! Well, it’s my favourite anyway!

        But I wanted to write about my experience because personally, I find it reassuring whenever I read about people who struggled like me at the start. It makes me feel less of a monster!

        Oh, and Hector is super cute!

        1. Hi Jen. I had pretty much the same situation so I completely understand what you are getting at. I was induced with Molly due to a very dangerous complication and about a couple of hours after birth she started turning blue and was whisked off to Neo natal due to problems with her lungs. Those first few hours hadn’t felt very real as I was dosed up due to the drip and then didn’t get to hold her for a whole day when she was in neo natal. She was only in a couple of days but it didn’t really feel like I had a baby in a weird way. With my second little girl I think I was in shock after the birth. Mainly as I was convinced she was a boy plus was concerned how Molly would react to her. Poor little Alice didn’t have a name for 3 days which made me feel like a terrible mom. It all takes some getting used to doesn’t it!

          Lolly, you have the cutest little munchkin there and I think I’ve said it to you before but I too disliked being pregnant! You are not alone! xxx

        2. You are absolutely not a monster. I actually had to stay in hospital overnight because I had trouble breastfeeding – Hector wouldn’t latch on and they couldn’t figure out why (after no less than seven midwives missed his tongue tie!). It was most definitely the loneliest night of my life. I wanted Ste and I wanted our first night together with Hector at home. I felt bereft and I didn’t have the worry of a poorly baby to contend with either so I absolutely get why you felt the way you did. I think it’s brilliant that you’re able to offer up your experiences to share as I guarantee there’ll be other people out there feeling or have felt the way you did.
          P.S. Pulling funny faces is one of my favourite games too!
          P.P.S. I think Heccy is super cute but it’s always lovely to hear other people say it too.

    2. Hi Jen, I can’t comment on this personally as I don’t yet have kids but quite a few of my friends have told me similar stories…although, sadly, they always feel they need to ‘admit’ it like it’s something really awful and terrible. I wish that it was more socially acceptable for women to feel the way they feel about the whole process of having kids!
      One of my very close friends found her newborn very difficult and has, on many occasions, told me that the first four months were”extremely shit”! Her baby had colic and she really struggled to bond with her – baby is about to turn 1 and things have got much better now.
      Really hope Juliet is doing better now and that you’re okay too!

      1. Ah, that’s really sweet. And you’re right, it does feel like a confession rather than just a different experience to other people. Which is bound to happen, since we are all so different.

        Colic is my worse nightmare. Luckily Juliet doesn’t have that otherwise I don’t know what I would have done! Probably started drinking cocktails in the afternoon..

        But thanks for your reply – it was really thoughtful. Jen

        1. Hi Jen. I too had a forceps (*gulps) delivery and was so out of it by the end that when Leo was born I had no idea what was going on. I didn’t feel that instant gush of love… In fact I don’t really remember too much about it at all. But then some weeks later I discovered a video my husband had made when he was just a few minutes old and there I was stroking his face and gushing over his teeny tiny eyes. So I think all the love was there, it was just clouded over by a heap of drugs and complete knackeredness. But I felt awful for not remembering it. Don’t we beat ourselves up something rotten! I’m so glad you are feeling better. I think like lolly says we are all different in our experiences and you sound like you’re doing a great job. Bloody hardest thing in the world this being a Mum lark! Lots of love x

          P.s. Juliet might be one of my fave names.

  4. Aw what a cutie Hector is Lolly! He is only a few weeks younger than my boy Nairn. I don’t think I was at all prepared for how full life becomes when you are parents. What did we do with all that time before that is now filled with caring for. loving worrying about ….etc this little bundle of cute that is now the centre of the family?
    Nairn was born super quick too, possibly too quick as he needed to be resussitated and spent the first week in special care so instead of the rush of love alone, we got that teamed with abject fear that this beautiful boy was going to be taken away from us. Thankfully 8 months on he is none the worse for it and me and my husband have also nearly recovered! Fingers crossed if we do it all again the next time is less terrifying.
    p.s i’m totally jelous of your boys beautiful hair, Nairns is still on the sparce side. 🙂

    1. What a lovely name Sarah! And yes I often look back and think how selfish I was with my time before. Just having a shower and not rushing is such a luxury these days that I thoroughly embrace it when I do get the chance to enjoy it.
      I’m so sorry to hear that you had such a traumatic delivery – you must have been terrified. I actually don’t know what I would have done. But I’m really really glad he’s ok now. And the hair? Yep that was months of heartburn but I’ll let him off since he’s so cute. Apparently I was born with lots of really long dark hair so it was always going to happen.

  5. Aww what a lovely post :’) He’s completely adorable and I totally agree about it bringing our a whole new side of your relationship. Haha at bringing up your birth story at evey given opportunity! My ‘the midwife offered me a cup of tea and a paracetamol 2 minutes before my baby came out in the totally wrong ward in the hospital because she didn’t think I was in labour yet’ story comes out all the time… and poor midwife because she happens to live on the next road to me so I point her out to everyone all the time.

    Jennifer I can relate to missing out on that immense rush feeling… my first birth was hard (and there forceps) and I was so out of it that I don’t think I knew who I was or what a baby was by the end and just wanted to go to sleep. I felt guilty for ages and felt a bit like a fraud for at least the first year wondering if I was a normal mum… to be honest I’m not much of a baby person either… so I think that added to my anxieties. But things changed massively for me when she started to communicate with me and having a chatty toddler it all clicked into place… and I loved it. It made having my next 2 so much easier as well as I didn’t feel the same pressure or guilt about that first stage – which is really such a short short time. I agree Lolly, sometimes it grows as you get to know them…. I can’t bear being apart from any of them now and that’s hard because they have to go to school every day and don’t actually want to be with me every second of the day!

    1. You’re right, the smiling and cooing definitely helps! Plus the delivery of clothes from Zara that have just come – Juliet’s new summer wardrobe, not mine! I like these Monday baby posts, they’re very handy!

    2. I dread Hector going to school Amanda because I think I’ll miss him far too much. It’s all part and parcel of having kiddos I suppose. I have to say that I think your birth story is epic – a cup of tea and a paracetamol eh? Did you get any more pain relief once you got on the ward?
      I definitely enjoy Hector more as he gets older and develops his personality – although the newborn stage is sweet, it’s the interaction that I adore!

      1. I often threaten to homeschool – just to keep them with me more but my charming eldest daughter reckons I don’t know enough to educate her – she is completely right.

        Nope, I never made the ward… my poor husband totally missed this birth and arrived 10 mins after she’d already arrived – he was gutted! I have to say through, I prefered the cup of tea to the pethadine I had on my first birth – a cup of tea really does make everything better.

        And totally with you both on the baby Zara love. Everything they’re making for babies at the moment is just so adorable…. and bigger kids too actually… ahem, and ladies. I’m often a ‘little’ over when making my basket up to £50 for free delivery.

        1. Well it makes sense to right Amanda – no point paying extra on delivery when a little something for yourself could be bought instead 😉

    3. Reading you all makes me feel so much better. I was induced too and had a forceps delivery and was, as you describe it Amanda, completely out of it. I can’t remember the birth of my own child and that feels horrible. I feel so angry that it happened like that as everyone describes it as the best moment in your life. I didn’t even cry when my son was born. I was half asleep and exhausted after 2 nights of no sleep on the ward. That makes the beginning of motherhood really hard. But what matters is the bond you create throughout the months/years after that.

      1. Marine I didn’t cry either! And I didn’t have a traumatic birth to contend with. My husband wept like a baby and I just lay there happy that I had a little one and blinking relieved it was all over. I think it’s a bit of a myth that it should be the happiest moment of your life (a bit like apparently you ‘know’ when you’ve found the perfect wedding dress – I didn’t have that moment either!). In fact the first time I cried was when Hector ‘passed’ his hearing test – there’s a history of deafness in the family and I was anxious about the possibility that he would inherit my dodgy hearing. It’s absolutely about the bond you create in the months/years afterwards xx

        1. Haha that makes me feel better! You can’t believe how much I felt guilty about not crying at the birth of my son!! And you know what’s worse? I cry every single time a baby pops out in ‘one born every minute’…

          1. We’re not the only ones – I know quite a few women who didn’t cry when their baby was born and feel horrendously guilty about it. It doesn’t mean that you’re not happy or emotional or loved up with your new baby. I think half the time women are so knackered that all they can do is to lie back and catch their breath. I cry at OBEM too – I think we can because we’re not the ones right there in the moment actually pushing the baby out and can appreciate the whole thing from another angle.

  6. Hector is so very, very cute, Lolly! What a lovely story. I’m getting married in a couple of months and bf and I are hoping to start trying quite soon – all v exciting. Although I think I’m going to dislike being pregnant…I don’t know why but I just have this feeling! 😉

    1. Bless you Kate – I think he’s cute but of course I’m biased. And congratulations on your impending wedding – so exciting! You never know you might just love being pregnant – lots of friends looked wonderful with their bumps and thoroughly enjoyed it, I just wasn’t one of them. Suffice to say I don’t miss the bump at all!

  7. Awww Lolly – thank you for sharing! and thanks to the other ladies for their comments too, it just reinforces one of my comments last week that RMS creates such a warm and friendly environment to share experiences 🙂

    My first baby is due in August and so far I love being pregnant! It’s the bit that comes after that terrifies the life out of me. I found out I was pregnant a week before we got the keys to our “two-year dream cottage” project which has had to be dramatically reduced to “lets just get the kitchen in before August” project! My poor husband has been working all hours known to man but to be honest, things are certainly getting done quicker than if there was no deadline. I can still do little jobs here and there but I am certainly nowhere near as helpful as I would have been pre-preggers! A tiny part of me wishes I could be more involved, especially as it took us almost 3 years to find the cottage in the first place and it was all we talked about really, but as my husband keeps telling me I am solely working on our other little project: I’m growing the egg, he’s building the nest (ha ha sorry that looks so cringe written down – it just made me well up when he first said it to me!!)

    Look forward to more updates of gorgeous Hector – he’s lush! x

    1. Ahhhh Maddy that made me well up too! Such a lovely thing for him to say – I have a feeling he’s going to be a brilliant daddy. I completely empathise on the working all hours front – Ste has his own building company which helps when it comes to refurbs but since so much of his time is taken up building up the business, all the extra time is currently being split between Hector and the house. I think I stopped being of much use at the house when I was five months pregnant and the bump started getting in the way when I tried to climb ladders etc. And I know that bittersweet feeling of wishing you could be more involved – my first house had me laying my own parquet floor and painting and filling and all the rest of it. I love looking after Hector but there’s a part of me itching to be at our house and getting stuck in.

  8. Although I don’t yet have children, the man and I are in ‘discussions’ and your post Lolly has made me well up. I have sent it off to my man to read as it totally sums up how I think HE will be as a dad. He is a fantastic bloke and I know he will be a good dad, he just needs to convince himself first….look forward to your other posts. Hector; such a cool name and such a cutie. X

    1. Well Kate I shall take that as praise indeed. Let me know if I help in any way persuading your boy to become a daddy. I won’t sugarcoat it – it’s tough but so rewarding xx

  9. Ahh I love how RMS posts always come at just the right time! I found out I am pregnant just this morning!! Also earlier than we planned (hefty quantities of gin was also involved!). Haven’t told my husband yet….He’s got a big exam coming up in a couple of weeks so really don’t want to distract him from that but the thought of not telling him for so long is slightly terrifying! Was so nice to hear about your experience Lolly and yes I also welled up quite a few times (need to get used to these crazy hormones!) Looking forward to more Hector posts Xx

    1. CONGRATULATIONS Cat! Amazing news and we feel very privileged that we here at RMS found out first. Honestly Gin really should come with some kind of written warning! Are you thinking of telling your hubby in some mystic and wonderful way?
      P.S. The hormones get even crazier!

    2. I love this! Congratulations:) I loved my pregnancy. Such a thrilling time (sorry Lolly!) you’ll have to come back and tell us your hubby’s reaction x

  10. I love these Monday posts – and congratulations Lolly! Hector looks lovely, glad you are surviving the trials of motherhood. I am only 3 months pregnant myself so I am really enjoying these pregnancy/baby posts, trying to absorb all the helpful information and inspiration too. I am also a tiny bit relieved that this is proving to be a bit of a forum where people don’t sugarcoat everything (and yet it all seems to turn out ok in the end – thank goodness!), it is so nice to hear people’s own experiences in a supportive environment as I’m sure many others will agree! Thank you very much for your post, and to all the commenters too. x

    1. Hi Annie – no we definitely do not sugarcoat here; plus I have the mouth of a dirty sailor as Mrs O’Shea constantly tells me so you can guarantee you’ll get the nitty gritty truth. How have you found the first three months so far? Have you had much sickness?

      1. I love the nitty gritty truth!! I have been super super lucky and have had no morning sickness, a little bit of nausea but nothing really. I thought there must be something wrong until the scan but the baby seems fine! Very much looking forward to learning from all of you, I am absorbing all your hints and tips, and nursery inspiration as well! x

  11. It’s nice to hear differing points of view and realise that we are human and not machines and there is no “right” way to be or feel. All being well we’re becoming 3 in Aug and I’m still totally in denial (haha!)!! We’ve lots of friends with babies but it just doesn’t feel real yet!! Hopefully by then I’ll be a bit more “with it”…

    1. I hate to tell you Victoria, I still don’t feel ‘with it’ seven months after having Hector. They say baby brain goes away (it doesn’t!) and I still find myself looking at him sometimes and thinking ‘wow you’re actually mine!’

  12. It’s so lovely to read other people’s stories about their pregnancy and birth. I’m 18 weeks pregnant at the moment and very excited (but also terrified!) about what lies ahead as this is our first baby after a long time of trying and not thinking we could get pregnant. I will look forward to reading more of your posts.

    Kate x

    1. Kate that’s such wonderful news! It’s scary and nerve wracking isn’t it but your 20 week scan is just around the corner I imagine? That makes things that little bit more real! Will you find out what you’re having?

      1. Yes our 20-week scan is at the end of this month. So excited! And yes we are going to find out if we’re having a boy or a girl. My husband really wants to know (and I do too!) and I think it’s a nice way of helping him to feel more involved and imagine the little person a bit better, especially as I’m doing all of the growing!

        1. And a brilliant excuse to buy more things too once you know the sex. You can start picking out names earlier too! Come back and let us know once you’ve had the scan!

  13. I really love this post too! I’m expecting our First in July and I flit between enjoying pregnancy and disliking it frequently! It’s so reassuring to hear other people speak the same way, it’s not something many people are honest about! So, thank you! Also, Lolly, may I ask where you picked up the I am _ weeks cards? They are super cute xx

    1. We promise to be as honest as possible here so I’m glad that this means so much to you. I’m glad that you do enjoy it at times (I didn’t even get that far!). The cards are by the amazing Cheryl Rawlings and you can purchase them either at Archie’s Boutique – http://archiesboutique.com or Bonne Nuit – http://bonnenuit.tictail.com

      I hope the rest of the pregnancy goes well – not long to go now!

      1. Oh my goodness, I have never come across those websites before and I think I may have found a home for many of my pennies! I have told myself I can’t buy anything until we have at least reached 6 months, but after that all bets are off…! x

        1. Seriously Annie if I spent on myself what I spend on Hector I’d have a seriously rocking wardrobe (never mind that I wouldn’t be able to fit into half of it!). I just hope the little monkey will appreciate it in years to come!

  14. Hi Lolly,
    What a beaut Hector is! Love his name!!! We are expecting our little man any day now and it’s so nice to hear that I’m not the only one that has not felt all lovely and glow-y during pregnancy. Looking forward to hearing more about your adventures as a new Mama. X

  15. Hi Joelle – thanks so much for the compliments on his name. We think it suits him down to the ground. We did consider Gabriel but his second name is Gray and Gabriel Gray is a ‘baddie’ in the series ‘Heroes’ so I just couldn’t do it to him. I think my husband was secretly gutted!

    Good luck for the next few days/weeks – I really hope you don’t have to wait too long to meet your little guy. We’ll be thinking of you xxx

  16. Lovely post- made me get teary actually, although I did chuckle when you mentioned the passion behind steaming veggies- SNAP! I was useless in the kitchen until Finley made an appearance and whilst I’ll never be a nigella, I do enjoy whipping up some healthy wonders for boy! X

    1. Honestly Laura he eats so well that he’d put most of these super nutrition, clean eating gurus to shame. If only I ate what he did!

  17. I HATED being pregnant. I had hyperemesis so vomited Every. Single. Day.

    Baby girl was born by emergency c-section at 36 weeks after a very quick labour. My spinal anaesthetic went ‘too high’ which meant I wasn’t able to move my arms so couldn’t hold her for the first couple hours of her life – I think that hindered the whole bonding experience.

    18 weeks later I can honestly say I love her more than life. And after telling every man and his dog that I’d NEVER have another pregnancy because the first one was so horrendous, I’ve recently been told I’ll likely need a hysterectomy and now I’m thinking pregnancy perhaps wasn’t so bad after all…

    1. Blinking heck Lynsey you have been through the wars haven’t you. I only had nausea and sickness for about four weeks and I’m telling you now it wasn’t pleasant so god knows how you coped for a full nine months. And then to top it all off to not be able to hold your baby for the first couple of hours must have been so frustrating. I’m getting angry just thinking about it on your behalf.
      If you don’t mind me asking and of course you can tell me where to shove it, why have they said that you’ll need a hysterectomy?

      1. I actually think the nausea is worse that the vomiting – it was like travel sickness on stetoids!

        Trying not to be all TMI here but the hysterectomy is a solution to fibroids which grew to monster proportions during pregnancy. Despite being pumped full of hormones, I haven’t had a day without bleeding since my baby was born. Not only that but my fibroids are the equivalent of an 18 week pregnancy and at the risk of sounding completely vain I’d quite like to not look like there is still a baby in there! (One plus to the hyperemesis is that I’m actually smaller than I was pre pregnancy in terms of weight despite the aforementioned fibroids!)

        1. If I’m honest I don’t know much about fibroids but the whole experience sounds mightily unpleasant. So will this affect things going forward if you wanted more children?

  18. Oh Lolly what a lovely post! And what a *gorgeous* boy you have!!! My little man is 9 months old today and I almost can’t get a handle on that. Time has an odd way of distending and warping when you have children – it has flown by but at the same time it feels aeons ago that I was actually in hospital with him (16hr labour no pain relief – note to self, ask for the drugs *early* next time!).

    It is such a mad ride, parenthood. It is absolutely the best thing I’ve ever done but also the single source of the most anxiety and constant concern I’ve ever had. My life is a never ending worry of ‘is he too hot / cold / hungry / full up … Has he got a cold / headache / tummy ache … Has he pooed / sneezed / woken in the past 10 hours…’ And I need to give myself a damn good talking to every now and then to sort myself out. I am not the first person to raise a child, people have been doing this for millennia, we’re all finding our way, so wipe the sweet potato mash off your face and just carry on!! X x

  19. Oh and the bonding thing came slow for us too – after labour I ended up in theatre for some ‘post labour tidying up’ (I know there’s pregnant ladies reading this so won’t go into details!) which meant a spinal block (ironic seeing as I delivered drug free… ). Samuel was whipped away after he came out as he wasn’t breathing properly and what with that and my surgery, I didn’t see him until he was 3 hours old. Which sounds like nothing, but the hormones do crazy things to you and I find it very difficult coming to terms with how awry things had gone at the last.

    But here we are 9 months later considering doing it all again! Are we mad?!?!

    1. Quite possibly Tallulah – I think we’re all seriously mad. I even thought to myself only last night..’labour wasn’t so bad’ and then I realised what ridiculous nonsense I was thinking. That’s the hormones for you. You’re completely right though about time warping and distending (that’s honestly the best description I’ve heard so far) – it feels aeons ago that Hector was born yet I had to catch my breath that we’re cracking on to nearly half way through this year already. It’s been the fastest year of my life. Having a little one I think means that my brain will never purely be mine again – there’ll always be a section of it devoted to him and to any potential siblings he might have.

  20. I’m SO excited to see you on these pages Lolly!
    I’ve found that everything has just got better and better and better since the 6 month mark. Can’t wait to see more of you and your beautiful family! xo

    1. Thanks lovely girl! Yep definitely enjoying things more since he turned six months – the giggling and the neck snuggling and the chattering are so cute. We love seeing the instagram updates of Ethan too – man his hair is to die for!

  21. This is such a lovely, lovely post and I adore all of the comments too. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Perhaps a little off-track, but where are those ‘5 weeks today’ etc cards from? They’re so much more stylish and cool than the ones I’ve seen about. X

  22. Wowsers, Hector is very cute, but he does indeed have good genes! Congratulations.

    My Elsa turned one on the 19th April, and I literally cannot believe it. It seems like two minutes since her hot little body with blue hands was put on my chest. Labour was horrendous (no sugercoating) but literally the moment she arrived the pain was instantly forgotten and if I had to, i’d have done it again again straight away for her.

    I saw a quote yesterday and it completley sums up motherhood ‘the days are long, but the years are short’ and this got me thinking. When Elsa was about five months, I was finding things very difficult, she was frustrated that she could only roll and I was getting very upset as she cried alot, however things turned a corner and I love every minute that I spend with her now, but wow, her first year has flown!

    She’s the happiest, beautiful little girl and she came into my life to make it brighter.

    Yes, somedays are bloody hard work, but so blooming worth it! Reading these comments has made me so much more broody than I already was, but I don’t think i’m quite ready for the sleep deprivation again just yet!

    1. Well thank you very much Kelly – I’ll assume that you are referring to me when you mention the good genes 😉

      I think that quote is very apt – describes it all perfectly doesn’t it. Having only just turned a corner (I think) with Hector’s sleeping I’m definitely not ready for another one just yet. Perhaps in a couple of years though…

  23. Thank you for sharing with us Lolly, I love a birth story! It amazes me how no two birth stories are ever the same. Pregnancy and labour are the most natural of things to womankind, yet the variation of detail to so vast. Your post takes me back to my own pregnancy and birth memories #happytimes #sadtimes #crazytimes #theBESTtimes

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