At the end of this month my husband James, Mabel and I are going to the Cotswolds for a long weekend break to celebrate twelve years since James and I first met on a blind date. I know, twelve years.
We have always honoured this occasion in some way or other, even though we have been married for almost 7 years come May, it’s this initial-meeting anniversary that brings out the champagne and the evening of reminiscing. You could say that by agreeing to meet a complete stranger one January night way back in 2004 was the ultimate decision on both our parts in determining the direction of our futures.
I almost didn’t make it.
And then who knows what paths our lives would have taken?
Since our daughter was born James and I are closer than ever, she has brought us more joy and laughter than I ever thought was possible. We have very similar views on parenting and share the (many) responsibilities associated with a small ninja-esque tornado equally. This makes for a healthy and happy (if not rather manic and chaotic) family life together.
Of course our relationship is by no means perfect, who’s is? we’ve had our fair share of ups and downs and a particularly rough patch back in 2012 where a whole bunch of upsetting situations were seemingly thrown at us all at once. But we got through it. And now we are tougher and more resilient as a result.
On paper my husband and I are very different in many ways. He loves to play and watch sport and I…don’t. I gave up trying to feign an interest in golf when I endeavoured to assist with a competition he had running at work with bets on the players in a major tournament as to who would win. I read out the list of apparently well-known competing golfers including “Furry K”. It is spelt Furyk…and I was told in between a fit of hysterics that his name was in fact pronounced Fure-Rique.
Whatever. My way was better.
I like shopping and dancing and reading books. James doesn’t. I tried out a new distinctly unimpressive dance class recently and upon telling him that the instructor enthusiastically (and very seriously) told us to “shake our booty” whilst simultaneously doing “jazz hands”, he looked as though she may well have asked us to tightrope walk across a burning building.
He often finds escapism in watching reality television. Where as I can’t stand it.
He is nearly always too warm. Where as I am often absolutely bloody freezing. I am not pleasant to be around when I have a chill in my bones. Or I’m hungry.
I am constantly looking for the next project with regards changing up our home interiors where as it drives him bonkers. “Why can’t you just be satisfied with how it looks now it’s finished?”
What?! Nothing is ever “finished”….If I can just find a kind of cylindrical vase in copper then it might be nearer being ahem, almost complete…
My career is very much built around sharing stories and social media, and from a personal perspective I genuinely love instagram – It’s given me so many ideas, not least for new must-have make-up items. James believes that in the current climate social media is simply a necessary evil, he’s not even on Facebook.
Relationships take work, they require time and effort and a generous dose of compromise. I’m as guilty as the next person of often taking my husband for granted. Or indeed not really considering his thoughts and feelings at all in certain situations. I’m working on it.
There are times when we are both tired and frustrated and we don’t get along so well, or we completely disagree on an important decision or topic. The difference now to say even a few years ago is that we agree to disagree depending on the urgency of the subject, or we try to sit down and discuss the details rather than becoming lost in the fiery midst of a heated debate.
Our relationship isn’t a fairytale but it is a success, twelve years is a long time to devote to someone else. And as we reach this next milestone I’m certain that it comes down to two major factors: love and respect. The latter being of equal significance. We may not like the same things all the time, or agree on everything but we certainly champion our respective choices and goals.
And of course not forgetting the fact we really fancy each other. In the words of Paula Abdul: Opposites attract.
I don’t have any particular points to ask you to make or questions for you to answer in the comments section, but it would be really interesting to hear your thoughts and experiences on relationships, current or otherwise and inevitably begin a thought-provoking RMS type discussion.